I would love to a throw a dinner party with a list of historical figures in mind. So I'm going to try and make it interesting and not include too many of the same kind of people in the same dinner party. Now to be fair, I'm not going to dive deep into an encyclopedia and rip out some philosopher that I have no goddamn idea who he or she is or what they stand for. I did some history on some message boards to find out some ideas. Everyone is apparently really into dining with Ghandi, Jesus, Buddha, and Joan of Arc. I am not interested in any of those people. I don't think Ghandi would eat anything because he starved. Buddha would probably eat too much. Jesus and Joan of Arc would probably find each other in a separate room and then die tied to planks of wood. Interesting how those two died in similar fashions.
So I'm mentally making a short list of people I liked in history and would want to sit down and eat with them in an intimate setting. I figure that I would need to have a big enough house and a nice enough career to let all of their personalities exist in the same area. I have neither of those right now.
Stanley Kubrick
Director
George CarlinComedian, Humorist, Actor
He is the greatest stand-up comic to ever live. Period. I'm sure that you can make a case for all the comics that don't go dirty or swear. But George is the reason that comics are now shown on television. He did his time as the hippy-dippy-weatherman, but he evolved into the funniest person on the planet, churning out stand-up specials like they were nothing. If anything, I would want to have him at a dinner table, just to be able to crack jokes and keep discussions moving along. If you ever watch a George Carlin stand-up or listen to the numerous albums he put out over a 50 year career, you will be impressed in how he managed to not only keep track of all of the Words You can't say on Television over the years, but how he kept adapting it and extending it to all his audiences. I never got to see Carlin during his last years, but I knew a couple of people who did, and I was instantly jealous. After he died, I turned to Louis C.K. for most of my stand-up because he is the only one that similarly resembles Carlin's format and extensive discussion of "Stuff". If there was ever a time when he felt like a comic that was struggling, I'd love to find out how he got over those years and what he learned from them.
Tom HanksComic, Actor
There are very few people who have attained the kind of success that Tom Hanks has. He started out as a baby comic starring in TV Shows like Bosom Buddies and Family Ties. He then went on to do small 80's comedies that were very clever and very memorable. One of those 80's comedies, The Burbs, is one of my favorite childhood movies. It centers around a cul-de-sac of neighbors that are suspicious of one neighbor and it leads down a very funny and very frightening road. It's actually one of the few comedy-horrors that I love. It wasn't until the 90's that he really broke out into superstardom. He starred in A League of Their Own as Jimmy Dugan, a hilarious women's baseball managers. He starred with Meg Ryan in Sleepless in Seattle, one of the few chick flicks that I actually loved (You've Got Mail is another, also with Meg Ryan). And then he went on to star in Philadelphia, a movie that earned him his first Oscar. His second Oscar, was for Forrest Gump, which is a lot of people's favorite movie of all time. Tom Hanks is one of the few people who go from a comedic background into serious acting and manages to stay in contact with his comedic roots. It's a hard line to walk, but I would want Hanks at my dinner table.
Ken Griffey Jr.Baseball Player
He is by far, my favorite Major League Baseball player of all time. He had a sweet swing and has never ever been associated with steroids. He dominated the outfield with his defense and bullet-throws to the plate. His swing was so monstrous, that it almost didn't seem natural. He hit so many huge home runs for the Mariners when they were in the days of Randy Johnson, Jay Buhner, and Alex Rodriguez. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I become suspect that if everyone around him was doing steroids, how does he not? I don't want to know. But I think it's always nice to have a superstar sports player at a round-table of interesting people. I don't really have a favorite football player that I relate to. I thought about involving Michael Jordan in this "dinner", but by the way he dresses, I thought otherwise. I have come to realize that Michael Jordan may have been a huge success on the court, but he has been nothing but a misplaced owner/GM of a terrible basketball team. Ken Griffey though, has been a perfect role model and I just would want to find out everything I could from him.
BanksyArtist
The first time I remember hearing about Banksy, I was at work, listening to a podcast about movies, and I heard about a documentary made by a street artist about the world or street art, or as many people call "graffiti". The documentary, "Exit Through The Gift Shop", was probably the best documentary that I saw that year. It was unbelievable to see someone compose all of the street artists that were unseen and unheard of by everyone else and put into a legitimate story. I had never heard of Mr. Brainwash and just the idea of a person with so much footage or people tagging buildings and storefronts and making statements is ridiculous to think about. There was another documentary about Banksy made, called Banksy Comes to Dinner, which is exactly what I want to happen here. I think he's the coolest artist out there because he speaks from the heart and his medium is out in the open. It's absolutely amazing to think about him, let alone his accomplishments.
Hunter S. ThompsonWriter, Hell's Angel, Bad Ass
If there is one person I would want to sit down with and talk politics, sports, drugs, experiences, or drinks, it's the good Dr. He is one of my favorite writers ever. His book Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is one of my favorites and the movie is just as awesome. His style of writing, Gonzo Journalism, is such an original idea. It was the kind of idea that only a drug-riddled gun nut who had a penchant for going on Ether binges would do. I would think that his coverage of the Nixon campaign is one of the best ever. I can only imagine the kind of discussions and participation that would happen at a table including the most influential journalist of the last 30 years.
Meryl StreepActress
It wouldn't be a propper dinner party without the most talented actress of all time. She is just a huge success. I would mostly want to ask her about her upbringing and her relationships along the way. I think there is something to be said about someone who has so much success while being a Mom and having a relationship with one of the most important actors of the 1970's (John Cazale). She is such a class-act and is always considered a delightful person to work with. I have no idea, but I would absolutely love to get to know her. She's played so many wonderful roles in timeless movies. I think one my favorite roles of her's in actually in The Devil Wears Prada. That would be another chick flick that I am comfortable saying that I enjoyed watching thoroughly.
Aisha TylerComedian, Actress
I've be recently listening to her podcast, Girl on Guy, and I've found it to be one of the best podcast's out there. Her interviews are usually very candid and very honest. I love when she talks with her guests about things that other hosts would not talk about. I also love her as Lana Kane on Archer. Her wit and humor is great. Her tastes in music, movies, and video games don't really fit the profile of a typical female talk shot host. I was listening to her podcasts and realized that she grew up listening to hard rock bands like Metallica. I was floored when I found out she was into video-game playing. I don't have an Xbox, like she does, but I think that it's awesome that fans of hers can game with her.
Dave ChappelleActor, Comedian
The funniest stand-up comedian who isn't in the spotlight anymore. I know he's out there doing stand-up, but he isn't doing huge events and television shows like people think he should be. I don't know if you know that, but I do. I know he's saving up some of his best material to make a comeback, but he's going to have to do it on his terms. I'd also just love to find out what happened with him and Comedy Central, why he stepped away entirely from comedy for such a long time, and really what he's been doing in the time he's stayed out of the limelight. I totally understand someone getting a whole bunch of money and then just going off to raise his kids. That's the virtue of "F-U Money". If he ever plans on doing movies or specials I would want to know. Plus I'd love to see him and George Carlin at a dinner table.
Chris FarleyActor, Comedian
I think since I have started this blog, I'd have to at least dedicate a small section to Chris Farley. He was the funniest person I saw in movies. When Napster was first around, I downloaded many clips of his SNL skits. His Mick Foley skits were awesome. His movies alongside Adam Sandler and David Spade were perfect. His career lives in the 90's and it would've been a hell of a time to see him in comedies today. I never really got tired of every laughing at him. And there's something to be said about the funniest guy in the room at SNL.
Dinner Menu:
First Course - Tomato Soup with grated cheese
Second course - Bacon Wrapped Shrimp or Coconut Shrimp
Third Course - Spinach Salad with Mandarins, Pecans, Onions, Strawberries, and Blue Cheese
Fourth Course - Bacon wrapped Filet Mignon with Asparagus and Garlic Mashed
Final Course - Key Lime Pie and an Espresso
