People At the Gym...

Let's talk about some generic people that are currently somewhere in the world working out and making you take notice of them.

All sorts of people go to gyms, but more often than not, you find that the majority fit into one major group that can be found at multiple gyms.

The Workout Barbie: The girl that doesn't do much exercising or lifting (or needs to), but is usually just on an ellyptical machine in front of a TV.  She usually has the latest in 'cute' workout outfits and just has a gym membership because her friends do.  They love to sign up for boot camps and zumba classes, but prior to those classes, probably played 0-1 sport in high school and college. 

The Fuckin' Huge Dude: the guy that weighs in at 280-300 pounds but is 6% body fat and usually has one tribal tattoo.  He probably spends 2 hours or more at the gym because he works a part time job selling time shares or something terrible.  He interacts with anyone and everyone within 15 feet of him and his weight bench.  Usually seen picking up the 70 lb dumbbells and doing 1 set of 5, and can sometimes grunt in between sets.

The "I'm just here because my doctor says so" guy: Typically older guy who is above 40 years old, never played any sports, and pays more for his gym membership because he didn't shop around.  Also wears glasses.  Can be seen talking to a lot of strangers around him and also talking to the TV.  Might have a weird old set of headphones on with a walkman around his waist.  Also might wear jean shorts while working out.

The "I'm here because there wasn't anyone at the beach, do you tan bro?" Guy: Young, dumb, usually wearing a white polo hat and played lacrosse, hockey, baseball, or any variation of those sports.  Goes to the gym because he needs to find girls to talk to.  Can also be seen lifting up his sleeveless summer baseballl shirt to itch his chest and flash his abs to other gym-goers.  Never really works out, but doesn't need to when he's working at his landscaping job and getting tan. 

The "I like reading, and that's why I'm not in shape" girl: usually on a bike, reading the latest Dan Brown/Nicholas Sparks/George R.R. Martin/E.L. James book because she has to finish the series because its important to her because no one is passionate like these characters and why did my boyfriend leave me and should I get another cat...you get the picture.  She brings water and a book and usually has more of one than the other.  Never sweats, unless she's read over 100 pages in 20 minutes.

The "DudeGuyBro" trainer: lives near a college town and knows every 20-something girl's in the gym phone number and has partied with them at least once.  Has gel in his hair.  Helps elderly by making sure they don't die on a curling machine.  Close friend with "Tan bro".  Has a house on a lake in New Hampshire and will surely invite the Workout Barbie if she's up for it.


Hope you all had a good laugh since most of these are true.  I will expand on these more as I get to find new character's of people at my local gym.  Enjoy!

Day 25: Someone Who Fascinates You and Why

So, I don't personally know who to put here.  I know that my family has some interesting people, but for a person who I find fascinating is truly difficult.  The first person that I thought of while comprising this blog is Lorne Michaels.  He has been the chief architect for comedy for the last 40 years and has yet to slow down one bit.  Everyone that's been in comedy has some connection trailing back to Lorne Michaels or SNL.  If I ran into him in an elevator, I would surely wish that it would get stuck for at least an hour just so I could ask him everything I wanted to. 

I'd want to know the discussions he had with past cast members, how he knew a certain person had what it took, what his regrets were, the people he said no to, the Norm MacDonald sitch, his personal life, his fears, his joys, and everything in between.  To me, there just seems something so powerful about the person who has introduced so many great names in acting, and then continued to do so for over 35 years.  Its hard for someone to build a platform like SNL just for 5 years, let alone the time Lorne has.  He's also managed to mesh generations of comedians with eachother. 

He would truly be a person that if and when they come to heaven's gates, they need to make room.  Now I'm going to go read a ton about Lorne Michaels.

Day 3 - Top 5 Pet Peeves

Sorry for the late post, but I've been busy.

So in this third edition of the 30 day blog post challenge: I am to blog about my top 5 pet peeves.  This is assuming I can cut my list down from infinity to 5.  I have many problems with many things.  I don't know exactly which ones I would rank near the top.  Although, I'm guessing that a Pet Peeve is a just a small problem that goes from a bug-bite to an infestation of hives over time, while never being really cured.  I won't put these in any order, but I will try to list 5.

One thing that continuously irritates me is when a company or brand comes out and releases something that they think is so fresh and so new, but when it's brought out to the public, it's a piece of crap idea.  Netflix's Qwikster idea comes to mind.  So does Google Glass and Google Driver.  My friend and I figured out that if no one has to drive a car for a person, that person can go drive around with both hands free.  Meaning that if a pedophile wanted to stay within the speed limits of a school zone and just masturbate in a car while the car drives itself, we've created a bigger problem than needed.  The Google Glass problem is that now we get to see what it's like for a person to see what they are doing.  Now imagine if a porn star got a hold of Google Glass and decided to have a guy finish on said glasses.  Congrats on making a new POV-style of porn Google.  Oh and Google Driver?  Thank you for creating a way for pedophiles to enjoy school zones and for creating a new idea for movie: when two computer driven cars collide, killing everyone.

My second pet peeve is when a parent or an elder hears your warning about something, and is totally shocked when that thing actually happens.  I don't know if this just happens to me, but I get it a lot.  A parent will HEAR you warn about something, and when that thing actually happens, it's a total shock to them.  Maybe it means that my parents don't listen to me.  But I know that it happens with other people too.

My third pet peeve is when women get the false notion that guys want something other than what we've always wanted.  Ladies, when a guy looks at you, he's not looking at your nails, or your earrings, or your bracelets, or anything else that you've burned calories thinking about.  There was a time when a lot of girls dyed their blonde hair jet black and caked on the bronzer.  You know, to look like Kim Kardashian.  Well Kim K is really known for having a huge ass first and foremost.  We do not like her because she has tanned skin and black hair.  We like her because of her giant round tanned ass.

My fourth pet peeve is when you go out to a friend's and if there isn't music blaring all the time, then there is something wrong with the scene.  I enjoy conversations and also enjoy when there is that moment when everyone stops talking simultaneously.  This next part can go in 4-b: when one person is hell-bent on controlling the ipod or music throughout the whole party.  Whoever's house it is you are at, should control the music.  If they have an ipod dock, figure out who has the best playlists and let that person and ONLY that person control the music.  I can't stand when I see 8 ipods near one iDock and everyone jumps in to play one or two songs leading to discussions like "Your music sucks" "No you suck" "F*** you" "Eat sh**", etc.

My fifth and final pet peeve, which will probably be a crime in the future first world: when a person working at a coffee place gets a coffee order wrong.  The way I see it, when a coffee person, who may or may not have full citizenship in the USA, gets a coffee order wrong, it creates a ripple effect for at least one person.  Now, since I live in Mass., Dunkin Donuts has this thing on lockdown in terms of drive-thru and whatnot.  Most people around here get Dunkin Donuts and McDonald's coffee.  Which is funny when you look at it; you might have trouble figuring out whose breakfast sandwiches are more disgusting.  Now it doesn't take a genius to realize that the person working the drive-thru or in the back at a Dunkin Donuts might be from a different country and may not get the order exactly how you wanted it.  Usually when this happens, it makes a person's morning difficult and they get upset for the whole day.  In the future, when productivity is so important for a person's job, the culprit for most slumps and firings will be blamed on breakfasts and coffee orders.  What a day that would be.