Guess Who: This Dude gets it in....

I was thinking about this the other day.

A coworker of mine was talking about a famous person that gets a lot of action in the bedroom.

If a regular dude, sitting at a sports bar with his girlfriend, was approached by this person and felt that his girlfriend was attracted to him, it would befuddle the shit out of him.

So now I'm going to try and give you guys a riddle to figure out if you think you would be intimidated by another dude by the description I give.

This dude is shorter than you.

This dude has curly hair.

This dude wears a lot of tight clothing.

This dude plays a guitar.

This dude can sing in a high pitched voice and a low baritone voice.

Not intimidated yet?  Okay, this guy wears high heels.

Not yet?  This guys wears makeup.

Still don't think your girlfriend could walk away with someone that dresses like this and has this image?  Guess what, it's Prince.

Prince could absolutely walk away with anyone's girlfriend if he wanted to.  Every dude knows it and every girls knows it.  If I told you that your girlfriend would be picked up by a guitar playing short man with curly hair that also wore heels and makeup - you'd laugh your ass off.  If I told you your girlfriend would get picked up by Prince, you say "God dammit!"

This is a lesson in that it's not exactly the image that a man has that attracts women, but it's his cadence and his demeanor, and probably whether he smells like a tire-fire or something expensive from the cologne section in Macy's.

Day 19: Biggest Regret in Life...

Wow.  Where to begin.  I'm sure there is a short list of regrets in all of us.  But I'm trying to think of the ones that seem bigger than "wish I didn't eat Calzone all those times".  This blog post also required a nap.  I tend to use my naps to go deep into my own history like Optimus Prime used the Matrix of Leadership to find out the solutions to catastrophic world problems: (skip to 5:00 mark to understand what I'm talking about)

But to come back to Earth from Nerd Dreamland, I think I can narrow my regrets down to a couple.

Regret #1 - Not saying "Yes" to a girl's request during a middle school dance request.

So when I was in middle school, we had a dance for I think just 8th graders since we were the ones going onto high school.  There was a girl who, to be honest, I wasn't thinking much about.  But during our last school dance, she had her friend ask me if she wanted to dance.  Now, to set the scene, I am literally standing up against the wall and she is standing with her friends.  Her friend asks me if I would dance with her during the slow dance, and I said "No".  Now, what happened later in the following years was what happens to most girls from 8th grade until high school graduation: they get hot.  And when I backtrack some of my love-life lows, I think this is one of the things I remember that I wish I would've changed.  To be honest, I don't even know why I didn't say Yes.  I wish I could have been there now to walk up to myself, slap me in the face, and then say "Go and slow dance with her you  moron!"  

Regret #2 - Not being a boyfriend when I had the chance to be.

Another regret involving women.  After high school, I had become what I thought was good friends with a girl I didn't think I would be with.  Now, this being before college, I didn't even think about the prospect of having a girlfriend for a summer and then parting ways before college started.  It didn't cross my mind until I understood the situation with Seth and Jules in Superbad.  I didn't end up really talking to the girl that much afterwards.  It ended messy and I felt that I dropped the ball.  Again.

Regret #3 - Going to Coutnryfest in 2005

So after high school was over and I went to go enjoy my summer between college and high school.  I went to a country concert for the first (and last) time.  What you have to know is that I was under-aged, didn't have a ticket, and didn't have a cell phone.  I got shitfaced, stole 5 coolers of beer from other people's open trucks while they were attending the concert, and then decided to drive home.  Big mistake.  I got stopped by a couple of parking lot cops and I was cuffed and taken to the drunk tank.  Fast forward a little bit, through seeing one of my friends in the drunk tank and the place smelling like death, to me getting back in the transport vehicle to going down to the Wrentham Town Sheriff's office and being "booked".  I was 18.  I had to pay $40 for my freedom and then had to walk back to Gillette Stadium.  In the dark.  In sandals.  Without a cell phone.  I eventually walked into Sharon without knowing it, and had a friendly cop offer to call a cab as long as I called my Mom to tell her where I was.  This is the short story, but I ended up getting home okay.  I had to show up in court on Monday and pay $100 in court fines as long as I plead guilty.

I think we can end this blog there.  I'm getting in a nice steady flow of doing this everyday.  My next blog will be about my 30 day challenges and what I plan to do with more of them.

Why Online Dating isn't the way to go

Have an OKCupid account?  How about a PlentyOFish account?  Zoosk?  Match.com?  Eharmony? Tagged?  Or some random other online dating website or app devoted to getting you matched up with someone that's perfect for you?  Good.  Now disable it.  I've been through the online dating realm for a little over 2 years.  Maybe longer.  I've gone on multiple dates with many different girls.  Most of them, have ended the same way:  The guy starts the messaging, the girl maybe writes back, you plan a date, you meet both meet up, you probably make out (or hug meaning you're never going to see her again), and then you maybe go on another date.

The trouble in online dating usually starts with making out a profile page that you think will attract someone to your liking.  In your own head, you're thinking "should I include a ton of interests?, Should I say I'm 'down to earth' like everyone else?, Do I include a bathroom selfie?, which picture makes me look thinner than I am now?, How old of a woman do I think I can handle?" and so on.  Most of the questions you ask in your head end up being hilarious tweets when you think about it.  So you spend all this time trying to sculpt this profile, and then when you look at everyone else's they all say the same thing.  Every girl is down to earth, joining online dating because their friends had "success", tired of the bar scene, wants a guy that can make them laugh, enjoys a glass of wine on their couch and watching a movie on Friday nights, and they all hate guys that take selfies with their shirt off (selfies are pictures you take in the bathroom in case you didn't know).

Then when you finally find someone you think can tolerate your face for an hour or two, you try to write a message to them.  Now, there's a good chance that no matter how sincere or nice or cool you sound in your message, that girl will not respond to you.  I don't exactly know the ins and outs of crafting the perfect message, but it seems that the normal sounding girls are the ones who do not respond (sorry if any of my previous dates are upset over this).  And even when you plan to meetup at a bar (make sure the first date is not dinner) there is still the possibility the girl will get cold feet and make an excuse that she has to work late on a Saturday night and not as a bartender.

The reason I mentioned that the first date should not be dinner is because dinner is the worst place to meet someone for.  For one, every girl hates eating in front a man.  Now I have no problems eating in front a woman.  I will eat until I'm full.  Most girls will order as many drinks as you, but as soon as that shared pizza comes out, they will pick take 3 bites and then pick at the crust.  Also splitting a bill at the end just makes things weird because if the girl wants to go dutch on it, she doesn't want to have to owe you, meaning sex or any making out is probably out the door.  The worst is having to deal with a waitress who can figure out you're on a first date and gets really into it and making comments.  I use waitress and not waiter because any dude knows better than to show any emotion toward awkward situations such as first dates.

At some point in the date, you've realized that you have nothing to talk about.  You like sports, she could care less.  She likes HBO's Girls, and you hate Lena Dunham with her naked tattooed body.  If you were smart and went to a bar (where drinks will go down fast and conversations will get interesting), you can get drunk alone, get drunk together, or both get drunk and laid if you're lucky by the end of the night.

The problems with online dating, is that after the first or next few dates.  You wonder about the next steps in dating: introduction to friends and family.  Do you want to say that you met someone online based on algorithms and profile likenesses?  How do people react when they hear that?  What if she doesn't like any of my friend's?  What I don't like her friends?  Why do we always meet when we're not sober?  Is this girl interesting when she's not sober?  How would my parents feel about this?  Has anything she's said send red flags?  Can I make up a lie as to how we met so it doesn't sound like we're both losers?

It's that last question that really hinders in your mind.  Your friends ask "hey are we going to meet this girl you've been dating?"  And you think "I don't know, maybe," when in your head you think about how other people have perceived you from pretty much just looking to the internet for something that you cannot do in person, face to face.

Online dating has no real future.  It'll be a fad while desperate singles will jump to dating sites after one gets tiring.  Finding a good relationship will not come in the form of slimming profile pictures, shared interests, and what you spend your Friday nights doing.  It comes from going different places, running into old friends, and meeting new ones.  So, lose the online persona, put on a decent shirt, and go out there and meet someone.