Everyone, This Is A Kitchen...

Obesity is a problem.  It's now even considered a disease according to the AMA.  Lap-band surgery, diet pills, stomach stapling are now a normal thing for a person to receive.  Even unsafe diet pills are now a norm.  Exercise and proper diet have seem to just go by the wayside.  Everyone sees the commercial for the diet pills where the sub-100 pound blonde on a beach lost so much weight by taking a pill or drinking a juice.  They just don't see that fine print when the before and after photo pops up and reads "compared to just regular diet and exercise".  Everyone wants instant results.  People would rather be given a fish, than taught to fish.

This bitch sucks.

Now, before I go into how or why obesity went from being just a description to being a "contagious illness", we need to look at how our family structure has changed over the years.  Men/husbands have worked jobs outside of the home for the most part.  Women/wives have also worked outside of the home, mostly the same hours as their men.  And that's great.  It really is good for families to have more money coming in.  Some families don't need 2 earning incomes, but the majority do in this era.  There in lies a conflict.

How we got fat was an unintended consequence stemming from no one resuming kitchen duties for themselves, their mates, or their kids.  Mom and Pop come home after an 8 hour shift, don't feel like cooking, and don't have the energy to cook for another 90 minutes and include healthy food groups.  "Hey honey, wanna just get some pizza, or takeout, or hop over to (chain restaurant in the area)?" "Sure, you drive" says the other.  The family gets seated, eats plates of offerings that can pass for food, and then the family has a lighter wallet by the end.

This isn't to say that feminism caused obesity.  I'm saying Men not taking over kitchen duties resulted in obesity.  Let's look at the labor statistics: women are staying in school longer, earning more degrees, and getting more jobs than men are, AND becoming the primary earner!  But where are the stay-at-home Dads a.k.a. the greatest gig a man can wish for?  Why aren't they swapping roles?  Men can do anything but breastfeed.

It's important that everyone that feels like they are getting unhealthier, stop, look in their kitchen, and learn how to cook.  Whether it's Julia Child's books, instructional classes, or bringing in an elder to teach a treasured family recipe, it's important to pass on cooking lessons that can translate into survival lessons.

Now, I have thought long and hard.  If primary earner men were to have a role-reversal with their wives, meaning that men would become the ones dusting, turning down beds, cooking suppers, do laundry, cleaning the kitchen, making lunches, and everything in between that a Depression-Era housewife would assume given that the men worked all day, I think we men and women might become closer in their relationships.  I say, let's (as men) let women run this world!

Why not?  Here are some reasons:
-Sports would be on during the daytime, eliminating the rush for night games and eventually saving electricity in most ballparks and stadiums.
-Soaps, talk shows, and whatever shows women watch would move to after 6pm.  The cast of the View, The Chat, The Talk and whatever would be recast with Ex-Wrestlers, retired basketball players, and stand-ups.
-Men would FINALLY know what the mailman's name is.
-Telemarketing would cease to exist since Men don't buy shit over the phone unless it's funneling beer through a hat or keeping nacho cheese from congealing.
-Cars would get smaller, and designed for a woman, maybe even by a woman.
-I would like to see heavy lifting jobs be carried out by men.  I don't think a 110 lb woman will do much good lifting a fat passed out man from a burning apartment building.

What I'm saying is that men and women would be benefiting from their strengths in the Internet era since women have begun to surpass men.  When the post-Internet era comes, whatever that produces, maybe men will rise up again.  But for now, it's time we all learn about what's on our plate.

First Date Nightmares

Dating sucks.  Just ask any of the people that do it and aren't already in relationships.

Both a parties have to pretend to do something with someone they don't readily know, not lose their cool, and then have to put on a face that suggests "I might do this again someday, but probably with someone else."  Doesn't it always seem that first date activities are things that you would never ever do in your spare time, unless it's drinking?  Bowling, Kayaking, Fine Dining, Mountain Climbing, Walking on a Beach, Hiking a trail, Going to a Zoo.  Why do first date activities get picked from the hat of "I've Never Do This In My Spare Time, But For Some Reason, It Might Get Me Laid".  What ever happened to burger and a movie?

First dates are ESPECIALLY the worst things you can do in your twenties, and from what the rest of the Internet tells me, up into your 40's.  There are several kinds of first dates.  There are the first dates that end in sex, 

end with Award Nominations for Most Awkward Hug...

or they can end with a "Call Me This Weekend" kiss (rare and very often not admired)

Now there will be times when both parties agree to end their date in whatever way they want.  The nightmare comes in when there is a disagreement and both people end up over-thinking every single "signal" or move that the other makes.

A lot of times, people go into dating without knowing what exactly they want.  Over time, if a couple dates and just wants to things copacetic, that's great.  What amateur daters don't realize is that they are looking for someone that they think will be okay to bring around their friends.  That's all a date/a girlfriend/a boyfriend is in this world, when you boil it down.

It is great if two people can connect on other levels, but that comes after finding someone in the first place.  However, there is that dreaded destination that seems to be populated with love-scorned men: THE FRIEND ZONE!

This clip from Wet Hot American Summer sums up what the Friend Zone is.  Scores of women will deny that the Friend Zone exists or that they have put "friends" there, but that's because if you don't talk about something, it ceases to exist.  

This scene by the way, is the worst thing that a guy can hear from someone that he likes, especially at a young age.  This is every kid in high school's  nightmare.  He does all the things that he thinks the girl wants in a guy, but she just wants to have sex with the hotter guy.  There is no way around it.  C'est la Vie.

Guess Who: This Dude gets it in....

I was thinking about this the other day.

A coworker of mine was talking about a famous person that gets a lot of action in the bedroom.

If a regular dude, sitting at a sports bar with his girlfriend, was approached by this person and felt that his girlfriend was attracted to him, it would befuddle the shit out of him.

So now I'm going to try and give you guys a riddle to figure out if you think you would be intimidated by another dude by the description I give.

This dude is shorter than you.

This dude has curly hair.

This dude wears a lot of tight clothing.

This dude plays a guitar.

This dude can sing in a high pitched voice and a low baritone voice.

Not intimidated yet?  Okay, this guy wears high heels.

Not yet?  This guys wears makeup.

Still don't think your girlfriend could walk away with someone that dresses like this and has this image?  Guess what, it's Prince.

Prince could absolutely walk away with anyone's girlfriend if he wanted to.  Every dude knows it and every girls knows it.  If I told you that your girlfriend would be picked up by a guitar playing short man with curly hair that also wore heels and makeup - you'd laugh your ass off.  If I told you your girlfriend would get picked up by Prince, you say "God dammit!"

This is a lesson in that it's not exactly the image that a man has that attracts women, but it's his cadence and his demeanor, and probably whether he smells like a tire-fire or something expensive from the cologne section in Macy's.

Losing Weight Just By Showering Properly

When I initially embarked on my weight loss journey (which consisted of finding determination and picking up the 4 Hour Body), I didn't think about how my body actually loses the fat and other bad stuff that I pick up while eating gross, yet delicious food.  I read an article about a NASA scientist who studied Michael Phelps' training and diet and figured out that something was amiss with his claim about consuming 13,000 calories to stay in top shape.  I saw a similar reading in 4HB.  The key to the body losing some extra weight, and cutting the fat, literally, was by taking a cold shower or an ice bath.

Now I know what you're thinking: there's no way in hell I'm coming from home from the gym and getting into a cold shower.  To help boost your confidence about getting into a cold shower, start slow.  Don't immediately jump into a cold shower prompting you to shriek and possibly fall down naked.  Only bad things can happen from there on.  Ease the water toward cold when your already in the shower and you'll build a little more of a tolerance.  Now Ferris recommends a 10 minute cold shower.  I usually stuck with a 5 minute shower only because I don't waste too much time.  The feeling afterwards is so refreshing.  Usually I would feel like I was sweating a little bit after a hot shower.  But with the cold shower: I feel dry, cool, and your body temperature will become elevated since it now thinks you need to regulate it from being in the cold (hence how you lose those extra pounds over time)

The ice bath, which requires a tub, is a little more time consuming and pricier if you need to get bags of ice just to take a bath.  I recommend doing an ice bath as a weekend thing.  Filling extra tupperware with water and freezing it will help with the ice part.  I stayed in my ice baths for about 10-15 minutes or whenever the ice melted.  Don't stick your head in ice cold water!  But try to keep most of your body below the water for the majority of the time.  After you're done, the same feeling of refreshment will overtake your body.

Here is a video of Tim Ferris on the View:

Aside from the ice baths and cold showers, I've found the using less shampoo has actually made my hair better.  I only shampoo my hair maybe once every 4-5 showers and sometimes less.  Now I picked up this technique after reading about how shampoo was used decades ago and how it's used now.  If you think back to the 1960's and 1950's, you can remember a time in a movie or TV show when a girl would refuse to go out with a boy she didn't like because "she had to wash her hair" (womp womp, poor Eddie Haskell).  I think I saw this on TV Land or Nick at Nite, but it got me wondering "where did this excuse come from and where is it now?".  Well lo and behold I did some research and found that people used to only use shampoo when they felt their hair was getting really out of hand and felt grimey.  I know that Loreal, Pert, Herbal Essences and whatever you put in your hair in the morning makes you feel like your hair is doing so much better than everyone else's, but that's what the marketers of these products want you to think.  Cutting back on shampoo has made my hair, thicker, fuller, and healthier.  I can't explain the science behind it, but it works.  Try cutting back on shampoo and I bet you will see healthier hair that won't end up in the drain.