Day 27: Problem(s) You Have or Had In the Past

There are many problems that I've had in the past.  Overcoming them is a tireless task.  This blog, for one, was one of the hardest things to get started and then continue on a daily routine.  When I first started blogging back in 2005 or so, I just regurgitated Bill Simmons articles and random thoughts on Sports.  I'd do so much rambling that it was just boring as hell to read.

But I've learned to cope with some of the problems I've had and continue to have:

Problem #1: Keeping Routine

Since starting this blog and using the continuous reminders on my cell phone, I've managed to complete 2 30-day challenges that I didn't really have any faith in completing.  I know it's only 60 days, but that's more than saying you're going to lose weight for a New Years Resolution and then just sit at home during every month after January.  I'm proud of myself for at least moving forward with this kind of routine, as menial as it sounds.  Solution: This blog

Problem #2: Speaking Up When I Have the Chance

Whether it's been at the dinner table, in a classroom, in a sport's game, or at work, I'm known for staying quiet when I should be speaking up.  I don't know if it's me being passive or my inability to act, but speaking up is something I wish I did more of.  My Mom always told me to raise my hand more often in class because most of my teachers didn't know how smart I was until I did it more often.  I think there was some point during my education that the more I raised my hand, the more I'd get questions wrong thus I would shy away from participating in class.

This has carried over into my adult and professional life.  I shy away from asking my boss questions, and future employers questions.  I shy away from talking to most women I don't know.  I know that if I feel like I'm being talked at instead of being talked to, I won't even bother with responses.  If people don't understand that last sentence, they may be the kind of person that talks at someone and doesn't even know it.  Solution: None yet.

Problem #3: Starting Too Many Things Without Finishing One

This might just be a problem of me wanting to lead too many lives.  Like taking a bite of a bunch of different foods, but never finishing just one.  It's lead down a long road of emptiness.  I feel I always need to have tried something, but I can't say that I've finished something.  It sucks.  I've started several screenplays, but have never finished anyone of them.  I've started writing other stories, but I've never finished them.  I don't know how, but my real life, family and friends seem to be getting in the way of the life I want.  Solution: None.

Day 22: How Have You Changed In the Past 2 Years...

First off, I would like to say that I'm not making these up and that I would not really talk about my past this much.

Two years ago, a friend of mine, ask me to say some MC rhymes...

Okay, that's from a Run DMC song.  I don't have any friends with MC rhymes.  Let's see.  Two years ago was May 9th, 2011.  I was about 2 years out of college.  Which means I was about 6 years out of high school.  I was 24.

I think in the last two years, I really haven't changed that much.  I started getting better money habits since then.  I followed some of Dave Ramsey's advice to help me.  I worked where I still work now, which is Bank of America.  Sorry to say that I'm pretty sure I had a different boss, different hours, and the same shitty attitude about working there.

I don't think I've changed that dramatically.  Looking at my Facebook from May, I had made my first cut-off pair of Sworts(sweatpants that are now shorts) and cut the sleeves off a wolf shirt.  Yes, I own a wolf shirt.  I own 2.

In the past two years, I went to Vegas with my friends from home and had the time of my life.  I went to The Spearmint Rhino and spent more money than I needed to.  This was during my spendthrift days.  I also started making my own food during then.  Notably, I made my two favorite dips: Mango "salsa" and Guacamole.  I've made these more and more, and I've even nailed down some of the important tips to remember.  They've been a big hit at most parties.

I also tried making things with Sweet Potatoes, like fries, and they came out awesome.  Such a good recipe.

It was August of 2011 that I had my first car negotiation.  My original car, the 199? Oldsmobile Ciera had died the day after I drove back from Maine.  I needed to get a new car and use my own money to pay for it.  I found a friend who was selling a good car, a 1999 Honda CRV with about 100k miles, and I bought it.  I had to trade in some savings bonds, but it's better than getting a loan and paying interest on it.  The picture below was what my truck of my old car looked like the majority of the time.

I went to Pensacola with some college friends during Spring Break.  Note: we weren't in college, yet still felt obligated to party with college aged people.

I also had a streak of some of the best Halloween costumes I've ever made.  I was Mohmar Qaddafi in 2011.

 And then I was Bane in 2012.

As a person, I really haven't changed.  I changed some habits.  I stopped spending so much money on food and trips.  I started saying No to some things to save money.  I picked up healthier living.  I also started doing this more: blogging.  I got back into writing.

I used to write a ton, but I've settled that down a bit.  I still haven't finished a screenplay like I wanted to.  I want to accomplish more, but I sometimes find that these little journey's I want to go on need either more money, more time, and more commitment than originally planned.  It sounds like I'm trying to live more than one life, but it's only because I want it all.  I want to be everything I dream about.  I want to work with wood and tools.  I want to write screenplays.  I want to write books.  I want to do standup.  I want to see $1 Million dollars in my name.  I want to travel the world and document it.  I want to cook and taste so many foods.  But because of the way I'm living and the choices I made, I have to learn to cross off some of those things and forget them.

That's what's been the hardest: looking at the trajectory of my life and the life I want to lead, and bringing it back down to Earth and being realistic.  Sure I can make goals of doing crunches or squats or whatever for 30 days, but the long term goals that are 5 years are the hardest because anything can be sitting around the corner just waiting to screw up your plans.

Day 9: Any Job in the World, What would it be...

I certainly know the answer to this one.  I wish I was any one of the following:

• Hollywood Executive with Green-lighting power

• Movie Director/Producer

• Screenwriter

• TV Writer

• SNL writer/contributor

• Stand-up comedian

As you can see, I want to work in the movie making/entertainment industry.  I don't have any particular background in the field or the location, but I still want to work in it somehow.  I wouldn't want to be anything else really.  I love movies.  I love TV.  I love them so much that I would very much like to be a part of them. I like the idea of talking about the premise of a film and having it being made.  I like looking through the pages on Kickstarter and IndieGoGo looking for people that want to make films but don't have the resources to actually do it.  I also just like thinking about which movies should be remade and which actors should play which roles and so on.

I try to envision myself living in Los Angeles or New York and being part of a writing team and making something work for television.  I don't know what it takes but I think up too many ideas and too many jokes to have my life not lead to working in some sort of media creation.

I just googled some Dave Chappelle quotes from his Inside The Actor's Studio appearance.  The ones that stick out most are "If I can make a teacher's salary doing comedy, I think that's better than being a teacher", and "My father told me, 'Name Your Price in the beginning'. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there", and finally "One of the things that happens when people make the leap from a certain amount of money to tens of millions of dollars is that people around you change dramatically".

The second quote sticks with me because while trying to think about these steps, I'm thinking about naming my price.  I don't know how far I'd want to go or what I would sink to before I knew how to get out.  Deep thoughts going on.

I'll keep blogging until I decide.

My fictional writing piece that was me writing an observational piece….Judge all you want.

So this is the piece I wrote for my class. I’d love feedback:

 

That noise is all I hear sometimes. It sounds the exact same. I heard it when my teachers told me I needed to step up in school. I heard it when my mom told me about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, and when she talks about Dad in a bad way. I’m now just hearing it again from my personal trainer in front of about ten guys that I know are going to look at me differently when I come here. The noise is a high-pitched noise, that my body has trained itself to insert into every conversation that I find repetitive and useless. I don’t have time for this kind of crap anymore. I just don’t.

“Katie, you need to…”, then the noise chimes in, and drowns out all my other thoughts as I stare blankly into my trainers beautiful blue eyes. I stare more as if I’m concerned, but I know he’s not worried about it. He got paid. My hearing starts to come back as I hear the clanking of weights on machines and muscular meat-heads talk about their latest conquest or some health recipe or how big some other guy’s trapezius muscle is, whatever that is. It makes me sick. I don’t know anyone here and I don’t think I want to. I’m sweating, which is gross, but then again so are the synchronistic rows of people watching Biggest Loser, a lame Football Game, and some generic female detective show where the heroine wears high heels at crime scenes and wears hair extensions to get ahead in life. My mom likes those shows. I’d rather draw, paint or sketch to my punk rock vinyl’s in my room; alone. Not perspire on a machine checking my pulse and telling me I had a great workout when I walk away uninspired and desiring a cake donut with a French vanilla iced coffee. Eight sugars.

“…Katie? Katie!”, my trainer asks me as I perk up. “Do you want to take a break or did you want to continue to the next exercises?”

“I’m fine, let me get some water and we can do whatever’s next,” tilting my head to the side just waiting out the minutes left in my session. I walk to the water fountain that has a line of vertical testosterone mutants standing in front of it. I stand idly, hoping no one talks to me, or notices me for that matter. Although it’s hard to ignore a tiny redheaded girl with a couple of wrist tattoos in stupid tight yoga pants made by my nemesis Jillian Michaels. She’s such a druggie workout whore. Oh my God, someone just leered at me, and it was an ugly muscle head; great. Only 10 more minutes of these carnivorous looks and lame Top 40 hits and I’m out of here. Probably for good.

I sip some water, thankfully uninterrupted by muscle model de joir and walk back to my trainer. He’s holding a ball, which he hands to me. It’s not a real ball; it’s a heavy, unbounceable ball probably filled with my self-esteem and hopes. He’s about to teach me how to do some exercise that will strain my abs, but as he’s teaching, I hear my favorite song come on: the ever-comforting high pitched tone.

So, it turns out I was completely wrong about Limitless…

So, I had plenty of time to kill last night while being at home.  I went thru my Netflix queue and found that I had saved Limitless sometime in the last week.  I watched it.  I didn’t expect any of what I saw.  Sure, Bradley Cooper takes a pill and begins to earn money better and all of his dreams come true.  But the way the story and screenwriting was crafted, made it seem more like a futuristic version of Less Than Zero or any other drug addiction story that was fast paced and had a touch of confusion to it, just to keep the viewer at the edge of the seat.  The dialogue wasn’t the best, but the scenes and cinematography were a lot better than what I expected.  Going from one end of town to the next in a series of shots that look like you are traveling through a tunnel was really cool.  I ranked it 4 out of 5 stars on Netflix.  The main part that kind of hooked me in was the struggle to find more of the drugs and the the final scene of the movie which I will not spoil for you.  One thing that I first questioned was whether or not it was really Bradley Cooper’s voice that does the voiceover in the movie.  It doesn’t sound like any other character of his, which made me wonder if it was going to be one of those movies starring one person but then having a different actor do a voiceover.  My next review will be of Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, which as I’m watching it, is already terrible.

Starting over....again

Okay, I'm changing my blog's title and am going to do my best to write about anything as much as often.  I'm still in love with writing and reading blogs, scripts, screenplays, stories and just anything that leaves a hefty impression on me.  
I watched a documentary the other night about Hubert Selby, who wrote the books Requiem for a Dream and Last Exit to Brooklyn.  If anyone thought those two movies were from the weird minds of some crazy director and not a book before (guilty), they would be very intrigued about the life of a post modern author who receives cult notoriety from his writing.  Selby lived a poor, heavy drug filled  life and had little education, being a Brooklyn native who wrote the way people talked, something people rarely did in that era.  His stories were extremely candid, while being considered pornography by the culture of the 1950s and 60s standards. 
What intrigued me about this story is that with all his success and international praise, he lived nearly his entire life on welfare barely getting by.  It made me seriously wonder what being a writer entails and what life would look like not making ends meet.  Bleak.  Desperate.  Reminded me of Frost's poem about the road less traveled.  Not taking it would make all the difference.
So what will I plan to do with this blog?  Hopefully just develop and hone my craft of writing and maybe make something of it later on in life.  Many artists do that, but a lot of them aren't recognized since young success is characterized as genius, and older success usually isn't considered genius in the same sense, it's just considered...well something else. 
So, what am I going to write about?  Well, just about anything really.  I'll do my best to stay on topic and to also just make my point and make my readership grow somehow.