Thursday, December 29, 2011

How many hours would it take to catch up on everything that is on TV?

Let me explain this: I don’t have cable.  I have Hulu and Netflix.  That’s all how I get my entertainment from television shows that everyone (except me) talks about.  Now, Hulu doesn’t always have the shows on my queue the next day after the show airs.  Here is a list of shows I’ve kept tabs on in the past year:

Family Guy, Cleveland Show, New Girl, Archer, Workaholics, Jon Benjamin Has a Van, Community, Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Bob’s Burgers, Parks and Recreation, The Office, Whitney, Beavis and Butthead, Walking Dead, Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The League, Louie, Portlandia, The Event, Up All Night, Wilfred, Game of Thrones, South Park, Saturday Night Live, Kitchen Nightmares, White Collar, Burn Notice, Tosh.0, 30 Rock, The Booth at the End (Hulu series), and Whites (another Hulu series). 

I think that’s all of them.  I did catch a couple episodes of 2 Broke Girls, but I didn’t really care about it as much as any of the other shows listed.  But think of all the other shows that I didn’t list.  I don’t watch just about any reality show except for Jersey Shore and I didn’t even watch this season. 

If you figure that Sunday nights consist of Family Guy, Bob’s Burgers, Cleveland, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, and Walking Dead on a given Sunday night: that’s roughly 4 hours of television.  If I were to try to watch a weeks worth of television, I don’t think I would make it through a week unless I actually planned to sit down and track all of this.  But let’s try to figure this out.

Sunday: Pending Football season I would need to watch roughly 4 hours of television.  If I was watching during football season, it would amount to about 12 hours or so.  12 hours being 4.5 original TV hours for Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Family Guy, Bob’s Burgers, and Cleveland and about 8 hours of TD’s, INT’s, and Ed Hochily triceps.  Game of Thrones might also be in there if I continue to watch although it hasn’t been that successful.

Monday: Mondays consist of Monday Night Football (if I had cable) and just about nothing else.  Very boring here.  I imagine if I were to take a future night class I should schedule it for this night, seeing that missing Monday Night Football isn’t a bad thing, but a great thing.  I can’t think of the last MNF game I cared about. 

Tuesday: New Girl, Jon Benjamin Has a Van, White Collar.  2 hours.  I like these shows mainly because they are so far apart from one another.  The quirky comedy, the clip show that bends the rules of comedy, and the serious crime show that keeps me interested in men’s fashion and artwork.  I mean it, White Collar might be the show with the best dressed people on it.  Plus Tiffani Amber Theissen is on the show.  And has a major role in this upcoming season.

Wednesday: Up All Night, The Booth At The End, Whites, South Park, Tosh.0, Workaholics.  3 solid hours.  This sounds like a riveting night.  Comedy, Serious, Comedy, Comedy, Comedy, Comedy.  The Booth at the End is a really low budget serious film about a man who sits at a booth at the end of a diner restaurant who can give people whatever they want as long as they do something in return.  Kind of like making a deal with the devil.  It’s really something that isn’t found that often anymore in cable, mainly because it’s setting is just one section of a restaurant and the actor doesn’t have to move for 8 hours. 

Thursday: Community, Whitney(moving to Wednesdays), Parks and Rec, The Office, Archer, The League, Louie, Beavis and Butthead, Burn Notice, Wilfred, Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  6 hours of viewing.  Quite possibly the busiest night of the week.  Every good comedy show is on this night.  Mostly on FX and NBC.  Because that is where comedy lives now.  Burn Notice is a show that is more like a Miami Vice kind of thing, but with a Magnum P.I. twist.  A ‘burned’ spy who is a hired gun to help put away bad guys and find out who burned him and help get his girlfriend back with him and his life back to normal. 

Friday: Portlandia, Kitchen Nightmares.  Hour and a half.  Both shows are just great.  Sketch comedy and reality-ish TV where you know what is going to happen in a given week.  This TV line up screams I am hip and love good television as much as I like a delicious dish right before it.  If I were a hipster chick, I would only be watching these two shows in a given week.  Mainly because I would love Portland, be stuck painting something to a Smiths album, and only drink coffee that costs $5 and took 24 minutes to make.  I think I just found a new idea for another blog. 

Saturday: SNL and maybe Key and Peele if it ends up being a good show.  2 hours.  Saturday nights aren’t a very good TV night.  Mainly because they are just consisting of college football, hockey, basketball, and SNL.  Pretty much anything you can watch at a bar is shown on a Saturday night.  Which is why most people go out and drink on this night.  Or just stay in a catch up on their weeks worth of television.

So that’s 13.5 hours of television of just scheduled television that I consume basically in a week.  Not including any sports, news, weather, or anything else.  Just the shows that I have loved over the last year.  I haven’t added in that I watch sports, which for some ungodly reason have decided to come close to 4 hours long for a single event.  How can anyone even sit for 4 hours and enjoy something?  Especially when someone like Josh Beckett has control of the time.

I don’t even know if I can sustain the on-coming new shows that are going to appear this Spring.  Who knows if I will even have time to blog about them.  Not because I blog so much, but because when I blog I try to get every thought I have on something out at once.

This number doesn’t even count the fact that I don’t watch a single CBS show or ABC show that just so happen to be very popular right now.  Modern Family may be the most popular show right now, but I could really care because all the talent is on NBC, AMC, and FX.  Prove me wrong. 

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