Tuesday, July 30, 2013

What a Guy thinks when he sees your Online Dating Photos

For those of you that aren't already in the online dating world, this is what a guy is thinking when he is rummaging through your posted photos.  I've seen enough of the same photos to break them down by category.  If anyone is wondering, I didn't actually take any photos from other people's dating profiles, I just googled what I was looking for.

The "Mud Run" Photo


Her Brain: "I Love The Outdoors and Being Active"
His Brain: "Well she has her weekends free.  I wonder if she likes doing laundry?.....nah"

The "Crossfit" Photo


Her Brain: "I'm all about Staying in Shape and Getting Fit!"
His Brain: "She's in better shape than I will ever be in.  She also likes Cult Exercising." (*guaranteed that someone that does Crossfit talks to me about not liking Crossfit*)

The "On a Mountain" Photo


Her Brain: "I LOVE to go hiking and exploring new trails."
His Brain: "For someone looking for a date/boyfriend, she sure does like being alone."


"The Bridesmaid" Photo



Her Brain: "I love my GirlFraaaaaaaaands! BFFF 143!"
His Brain: "Her friends aren't single and she is.  She probably wants to get married real soon.  I don't think about marriage."

The "Backpacking through Europe" Photo


Her Brain: "OMG I miss Europe much!  I loved being cultured!"
His Brain: "Well if we ever dated I can ask her about Europe and then tune out for an hour!"

The "Pixelated/Blocked out Ex-Boyfriend" pic


Her Brain: "This is my ex-boyfriend.  This is proof that I'm relationship material.  I pixeled out his face in case he was on this dating website too."
His Brain: "What the hell is going on in the background anyway? It's a bunch of dudes in jorts without shirts on.  That can't be her boyfriend.  It's probably her gay friend that is just in shape."

The "Bathroom Selfie" Photo


Her Brian: " I like, never take these photos. I hate when guys take these photos.  Creeeeeeps."
His Brain: "Well at least she doesn't take pictures of her shit when she's in the bathroom."

The "Arm on Hip" Photo


Her Brain: "Hey Guys!"
His Brain: "She has a picture taking pose.  Cool."

The "Eating at a Diner" Photo



Her Brain: "Yummmmm!  I love Brunch!"
His Brain: "If I buy her food, she'll eat it"


The "This is me and my son/daughter" Photo



Her Brain: "I love my kiddo to death!"
His Brain: "SHE HAS KIDS RUUNNNNNNNNN!"


Hope you enjoyed!

Monday, July 29, 2013

Actors and Actresses I can do Without

I've seen a lot of movies in my life.  I've rated around 1700+ on Netflix so I'm guessing that I've seen all of those at least once, but there's no telling how many I've watch multiple times.  I've seen many an actor and actress perform, and some I don't even need to watch perform because I can tell that there are many of whom don't need watching.  They just suck.  As actors and as people.  I know that this list of people is probably on Cracked.com or some website that they do nothing by top whatever lists.  But, I will have at least some

Jim Carrey


Why Jim?  Well, why not Jim.  He hasn't really been a major contributing factor in his main brand of comedy since Bruce Almighty.  Before that his last funny movie was Liar Liar.  Jim Carrey used to be able to carry a comedy into the box office.  But then America got over his hyper-eccentric brand of comedy and switched to something a little more calm and calculated.  Which makes me worried about his upcoming projects.   He's being attached to movies that I really enjoyed the first time around, and I'm hoping he doesn't leave a bad taste in my mouth.  I find it kind of sad that movie-goers have become Pavlovian in their reactions to seeing actors on screen.  If Burt Wonderstone was funnier, I might have a different opinion about Jim Carrey, but let's just say his comedic career can only get better.

Adam Sandler


Sure Adam Sandler is probably responsible for my generation's movie quotable movies (Big Daddy, Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison), but he hasn't ever taken a break from acting or making movies with David Spade and Rob Schneider.  Since 2000, he has 27 acting credits, most of which are movies he starred in, produced, and are involving his previous SNL alum.  He does not stop working.  He needs to.  He's suffering from over-exposure and his movie trailers are headed towards things that remind people of "From the Mind of M. Night Shamylan".  South Park hit it on the head with this clip from a couple seasons ago.  Might want to put in some headphones if you're reading this at work.



Marion Cotillard


In my opinion, the worst actress with the most movie-critic pull.  I don't know what everyone else likes about her.  Sure she's attractive, but you can't spit in Hollywood without hitting someone attractive.  She won her Oscar for La Vie En Rose, which no one in America saw because it's a French film and American's don't like anything French, unless it's mustard.  Now I first saw her in Public Enemies and she was just a distraction.  Not a single scene from her (or from that movie) seemed like it was going to stick out in my mind.  It didn't help that Public Enemies was too grainy and the picture quality was absolute crap.  I then saw her in Inception.  Again, a distraction that (SPOILER ALERT) kept committing suicide in Leo's dreams.  Her third strike came from The Dark Knight Rises, where she played Miranda, and somehow managed to rise to the ranks of the Wayne Corporation and (SPOILER ALERT) be related to Bane.  Now for Marion, I don't know what to think.  She can easily be replaced by Emily Blunt, who is also foreign, and can probably do more in any role than she can.  Au revoir Marion.

Helena Bonham Carter/Johnny Depp/Tim Burton


I'm lumping all three of these people together.  They are responsible for keeping the Goth trend alive and they are somehow still being allowed to make movies.  I just realized that Tim Burton's hair looks like the lead Goth kid from South Park.  I'm sure that's on purpose.  Now, I don't plan on seeing another movie with all three of these people in it.  However, I might see a movie with one of them in it alone.  Tim Burton is remaking ever single nursery rhyme with these two actors and I have no place for it in my life.  I don't think I need to make anymore of an argument for him.  Johnny Depp is too much into his own look.  The wristbands, the weird hats, the goatee, the mustaches, the wide variety of glasses - somehow work for him, but work terribly on every other human on the planet.  I don't like Helena Bonham Carter that much, but I loved her in Fight Club, which is high on the list of my favorite book-movies.  If she doesn't hang out with either of these two again, she wouldn't be on this list.

Russell Brand


I hate him.  Not only because he "acted" in Forgetting Sarah Marshall (a favorite of mine) but because he somehow still gets work for being the British version of Johnny Depp.  He apparently is funny, but you wouldn't know that because he had an FX show that no one watched because he had guests like the Westboro Baptist Church people.  I know, nothing says comedy like a hate group that do nothing but soldier funeral protests.  I would not like to be stuck on a elevator with him.

Kristen Stewart


Kristen Stewart isn't an actress.  She just has a camera on her enough for a lot of people to be watching.  I don't watch her vampire-wolf movies.  She can be substituted with someone who is a little more attractive and can actually act.  She is apparently the top female earner in Hollywood, but you wouldn't really know that because she just acts the way she talks.  Go watch her on Fallon or Kimmel, there's no difference in her acting or talking.  I just don't like her as an actress.  Amber Heard could do over everything she did and could probably do it better.


There are probably a lot more people that I could do without in the acting department, but I just don't have the time.  I'm surprised I found the time for this.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Gardening 7

The zucchini plant died and I made something with the last available one.  Coming up good though.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

V.I.D.E.O.S.: Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker's Apocalypse

Very Interesting Documentary Everyone Ought to See is a series of blogs that educate the reader about documentaries that not only peak this writer's interest but will make one think about the life that they live and the lives of the rest of the world's people.




There are some movies out there that make you wonder how it was made, and then there are movies that make you wonder "Is this the same guy that directed that last masterpiece?"

Hearts of Darkness is one of the first documentaries of its kind to show the behind the scenes footage of what it was like to make Apocalypse Now, one of the most memorable, over-hyped war movies of all time.  It was hyped up as being the movie to completely define the entirety of war movies and Vietnam through the adaptation of Joseph Conrad's Hearts of Darkness by director Francis Ford Coppola.  The studio pretty much gave him the keys to the castle.


When you make a movie (so I assume) there are certain tasks and goals that need to be accomplished when you go out to direct a mega-movie such as this.  There is also the aspect of how one handles stress and manages others on the set.

Coppola was known for working with megastars like Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, Robert Deniro, and many of the other big names of the time that could carry a film.  Directing some of the best performances of a generation was Coppola's best attribute.  Studios figured that he was the guy to go to for turning a script into an Oscar masterpiece.


But then there are things that come out of nowhere when you begin to fly too close to the sun.  Coppola had to go out into the hot tropics and find ways to shoot his movie.  He had to figure out his script to follow, which he rewrote and rewrote, deal with talent that would seem difficult to deal with, and then put out the fires that would occur when the star of the movie suffered from a heart attack.


This is the making of the movie that broke Francis Ford Coppola.  It is highly entertaining, and if you've ever wondered where Tropic Thunder got some of it's comedy reference from, look no further.  This is the movie to watch and enjoy.


Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Being Held Back

"You're a full year older than me, what were you, held back as a kid?"

"What do you think about repeating this grade over again?"


When kids are growing up, they are given certain expectations to live up to.  Whether it's from their parents, their teachers, their coaches, or society in general, kids are looked upon to fill in the gaps that the older generations did not fill.  When a child is held in school, it is an indicator that that particular student needs more learning to understand the material given to them, or they are struggling too much at their current level. But after reading a couple of articles about students and parents in the current society, I'm beginning to wonder at what point parents start looking at their kids as a business instead of an expanding mind.

In the New Jersey Star Ledger, following this years NBA Draft, there were some reports about NBA prospects who had been held back in 8th grade, but no necessarily for academic reasons.  The article pointed out that many middle school basketball players are now repeating the 8th grade so that they can play like a 9th grader at an 8th grade level, thus padding their basketball stats and getting a better chance at a scholarship from a better university than their struggling counterparts, who are playing at their correct level of competition.

In fact, kids are begging their parents to be held back.

Now, I had blogged about how the education system in this country has fallen by the wayside and isn't nearly as robust as it used to be.  But I did not expect to see this kind of thing come along in our society.  I understood that colleges had scouted players in middle school and even went as far as having players and students commit to their university before entering the 8th grade.  I didn't think it would get this far.

The process goes like this: a student athlete is held back sometime in middle school, usually by a recommendation from the teaching staff, but in this case, most likely recommended by the parents.  The student-athlete gets another chance at playing middle school ball even though his body is now a full year in development ahead of the rest of the now current 8th graders.

Nerlens Noel, now an NBA player who was held back in middle school.

It is like putting a high school freshman back into his eighth grade math class and then seeing him outperform most of the students because he's already done all this work before.  Doing something the second time around does tend to be easier.  With his advanced talent and development that he has received from playing a lower level of competition, he now has made himself a visible athletic force for all the scouts watching him play.  It's like a group of 14 year old boys playing basketball with a 15 year old, people will notice which one is the 15 year old by how he's dominating the younger students.


When a scout sees this player doing as well on the court, the scout may approach the parents about a scholarship at a top-tier university.  'He seems to be outperforming his classmates, he will be great in our program, please sign on the dotted line' is what a parent might hear from a scout if they ever were encountered by one.  This is every parents dream; their kid is wanted by a great school and has the potential to have a brighter future.

Here's the surprising part: after the student moves on after 8th grade and enters high school, he can re-declare his grade-level based upon his academics.  Many parents even have private classes for their held-back students just so they can catch up and move back into the grade they were held back from, leapfrogging an entire grade if need be.  A quick side note, I did this in college when I had to take Spanish classes to complete my major requirements, so I took a test and tested out of 2 Spanish classes, thus saving me some time.  Now fast-forward to the student-athletes senior year in high school, he may be right at the age where he needs to be, or he may even be a year older.  He now has a scholarship to a top-tier university for athletics, probably has a chip on his shoulder, and without a doubt, has a much brighter future than his counterparts that weren't held back during middle school.

Something about this whole system of keeping a child back for athletic purposes doesn't seem right.  Right away, it means that the parents aren't necessarily looking out for their sons well-being as far as intelligence goes.  When you first find out about someone being held back, you think that it is because they struggled along the way or didn't grasp some concept.  It instantly becomes an indicator of potential weakness, but not in this situation.

Should parents be holding more and more of their children back if they see athletic potential in their kids?  Why is it that there is no other field that this is commonly preferred practice?  When a parent holds back a kid for academic reasons, it's because he or she didn't understand it the first time around.  No one has ever publicly stated that they held their son or daughter back in middle school so that they could get an edge in science.  It's almost as if we've put too much of an emphasis on sports, because we've incorporated them into our education system.


Here's an open ended question: do you think we would create a smarter or more gifted society if we were to allow an entire year be repeated by students.  One of the side-effects would be that there would be a huge gap between enrollment in one grade than the next.

Now I first about this from the Jalen Rose Report podcast on the Grantland Network, which can be watched and listened to here.  I did some Googling about this subject and decided that this is definitely not a common practice among young men around my neck of the woods.  I wonder if there is anything like going on other sports like Hockey or Football.  It would certainly break the whole talk about education wide open.  It's certainly a talk that we need to have in a large public forum.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Time for some Nostalgia: Toys and Games

There comes a time in every Internet user's life that they see something that rings of nostalgia.  Sometimes it happens too often.  I know I've seen so many things on my Facebook feed that are all about 90's kids or 80's kids or something like that.  Well, now it's my turn.  Here are some pictures of toys and games that I probably had and regret not spending more time with:

Creepy Crawlers - I love this idea of making your own toys and fun.  Plus the excitement on the kids face is priceless.



Pogs - I don't remember ever playing a single game of Pogs, but I do remember collecting them and being very close to buying a make your own pog stamp.


Easy-Bake Oven - Pretty much make your own food kind of toy.  It turned out to be a 150 watt lightbulb encased in plastic to heat up some bland-tasting totally awesome stuff.


Button/Badge maker - I never owned one, but I remember someone had one when I was younger.


Tiger Electronics - I remember being enchanted by these kinds of things.  If your parent wanted you to stay quiet, they'd give you one of these.  Just sit in a corner and play Power Rangers Tiger Toys for hours before dinner.



Walkie Talkies - These, along with the aspect of kids going outside and running around having fun in the neighborhood, have disappeared.  No longer are kids running into the woods and thinking that they are spies and doing cool stuff and connecting with each other down the road with a battery operated walkie-talkie.


Super Soakers/Anything that will lead to a Waterban - I now understand the reason for a Water-ban.   I don't care, all that fun was well worth the wasted water.






Polly Pocket - I know some girl in my neighborhood had these.


13 Dead End Drive - I remember games like this, where you set it up forever, and then finally decide to play and then realize that you have no idea what to do or the directions to the game are too long and then you want to go outside and play.


Bumble Ball - Anyone who had a younger sibling born in the 90's, probably had this thing moving around the floor of their living room.


Pound Puppies - Who doesn't love a cute dog.


Talkboy - Made popular by Home Alone, this recording device was just the coolest thing to see around people's houses.  Recording sayings and having them go in slow motion was just so cool.


Socker Boppers - Pounding your friend in the head with inflated plastic was so much fun.


Shout N Shoot - Back to the outdoor water games, this was created out of the idea of being sneaky, but then yelling "fire!" and hoping that the water will get them before you get soaked.



One of my final thoughts about all this outdoor water fun was the moment when everyone was out of water and then you'd have to refill all your tanks and then start all over.