One (sorta) Fat Guy blogs about sports, food, health, women, family, being kinda sorta fat, and also some other things not yet really decided upon. Follow me on Instagram @msheezy86 and Twitter @MarkSheehan
I have a question for everyone: Is this Old Spice commercial racist?
I don't know for sure if it is. But Old Spice has done some really cool commercials. They had the man that your man could to smell like.
They had the Terry Crews commercials, which might be the best commercials ever done by someone yelling.
The white guy with the watermelon basketball one just seemed to make me think instantly of black guys and watermelon. Maybe it's just me. Hilarious commercials, although I don't buy Old Spice and probably never will.
Obesity is a problem. It's now even considered a disease according to the AMA. Lap-band surgery, diet pills, stomach stapling are now a normal thing for a person to receive. Even unsafe diet pills are now a norm. Exercise and proper diet have seem to just go by the wayside. Everyone sees the commercial for the diet pills where the sub-100 pound blonde on a beach lost so much weight by taking a pill or drinking a juice. They just don't see that fine print when the before and after photo pops up and reads "compared to just regular diet and exercise". Everyone wants instant results. People would rather be given a fish, than taught to fish.
This bitch sucks.
Now, before I go into how or why obesity went from being just a description to being a "contagious illness", we need to look at how our family structure has changed over the years. Men/husbands have worked jobs outside of the home for the most part. Women/wives have also worked outside of the home, mostly the same hours as their men. And that's great. It really is good for families to have more money coming in. Some families don't need 2 earning incomes, but the majority do in this era. There in lies a conflict.
How we got fat was an unintended consequence stemming from no one resuming kitchen duties for themselves, their mates, or their kids. Mom and Pop come home after an 8 hour shift, don't feel like cooking, and don't have the energy to cook for another 90 minutes and include healthy food groups. "Hey honey, wanna just get some pizza, or takeout, or hop over to (chain restaurant in the area)?" "Sure, you drive" says the other. The family gets seated, eats plates of offerings that can pass for food, and then the family has a lighter wallet by the end.
It's important that everyone that feels like they are getting unhealthier, stop, look in their kitchen, and learn how to cook. Whether it's Julia Child's books, instructional classes, or bringing in an elder to teach a treasured family recipe, it's important to pass on cooking lessons that can translate into survival lessons.
Now, I have thought long and hard. If primary earner men were to have a role-reversal with their wives, meaning that men would become the ones dusting, turning down beds, cooking suppers, do laundry, cleaning the kitchen, making lunches, and everything in between that a Depression-Era housewife would assume given that the men worked all day, I think we men and women might become closer in their relationships. I say, let's (as men) let women run this world!
Why not? Here are some reasons:
-Sports would be on during the daytime, eliminating the rush for night games and eventually saving electricity in most ballparks and stadiums.
-Soaps, talk shows, and whatever shows women watch would move to after 6pm. The cast of the View, The Chat, The Talk and whatever would be recast with Ex-Wrestlers, retired basketball players, and stand-ups.
-Men would FINALLY know what the mailman's name is.
-Telemarketing would cease to exist since Men don't buy shit over the phone unless it's funneling beer through a hat or keeping nacho cheese from congealing.
-Cars would get smaller, and designed for a woman, maybe even by a woman.
-I would like to see heavy lifting jobs be carried out by men. I don't think a 110 lb woman will do much good lifting a fat passed out man from a burning apartment building.
What I'm saying is that men and women would be benefiting from their strengths in the Internet era since women have begun to surpass men. When the post-Internet era comes, whatever that produces, maybe men will rise up again. But for now, it's time we all learn about what's on our plate.
Ever since I blogged about the Education system in this country, I started to think that maybe I should actually try to relearn some of the things that I know I've forgotten as an adult. The video above is a Brain Teaser that I watched today. It involved Aliens and taking over the world. I know, right up my alley.
But this got me thinking that if I tried to watch one of these videos a day - I could sharpen up my brains and get a REAL workout going. The Brain is an important muscle of the body, even though it's just fat tissue that isn't a muscle at all. But you know what I mean! I'm going to start watching a Khan lesson a day and try to build up the lost learning that I've suffered from not using all my potential.
So I just thought of a new segment that I can repeat and it just came to me. Very Interesting Documentaries Everyone Ought to See....V.I.D.E.O.S.! It sounds cool, catchy, and I'm sure that I can get people on board since regular movies are too hit-and-miss and don't always revolve around real life.
My mind has been reeling over this one documentary. It's a documentary about a movie. There are many of those out there, but this one isn't about "the making" of a movie. It's about the reaction from viewers.
The movie is called Room 237.
It's a subjective documentary about some of the hidden messages that many viewers believe are within Stanley Kubrick's The Shining, and what they are meant to represent. There aren't any images of the people being heard interviewed in the film, but the film itself is so fascinating that it really makes someone think about what we believe we see when we watch a movie.
If you are unfamiliar with The Shining, I suggest you watch that movie. It's almost 35 years old and can still make people jump. It is horrifying to say the least. After watching the documentary, you will be begin to think deeper and deeper about everything that went on in the movie.
I know I'm a little late to the party about blogging about this, but I am a Kubrick-phile. I love all of Stanley Kubrick's work. Everything he made is better than just about anything coming out now. For the time his films were made, they are ever-lasting. What's really interesting about this movie is the theories that people have structured and the robust arguments that are made.
Now from what cinephiles know about Kubrick is that he was calculated and very into the idea of every image and every frame being part of an overall theme. But the theories and arguments made in this movie not only bring to light some of the questionable, as well as interesting theories regarding Minotaurs, The Moon Landing, The Holocaust, The American Indian, and so forth. But the bring about what people are looking at in a movie when they are watching. The details, the colors, the sounds, the movements are all interconnected in some way. Kubrick loved to play with these devices to entertain.
I won't spoil any of the documentary, because I think I've told you all that you need to know. But I highly suggest you check it out on Amazon Instant, or Apple TV or some other medium of watching films. It is such a high-brow documentary that it really illustrates what people see, what we think we know against what was really shown, as well as things you miss the first time around when watching a movie.
Hope you enjoyed this first of many V.I.D.E.O.S segments. I love movies and you should too! Support art!
Dating sucks. Just ask any of the people that do it and aren't already in relationships.
Both a parties have to pretend to do something with someone they don't readily know, not lose their cool, and then have to put on a face that suggests "I might do this again someday, but probably with someone else." Doesn't it always seem that first date activities are things that you would never ever do in your spare time, unless it's drinking? Bowling, Kayaking, Fine Dining, Mountain Climbing, Walking on a Beach, Hiking a trail, Going to a Zoo. Why do first date activities get picked from the hat of "I've Never Do This In My Spare Time, But For Some Reason, It Might Get Me Laid". What ever happened to burger and a movie?
First dates are ESPECIALLY the worst things you can do in your twenties, and from what the rest of the Internet tells me, up into your 40's. There are several kinds of first dates. There are the first dates that end in sex,
end with Award Nominations for Most Awkward Hug...
or they can end with a "Call Me This Weekend" kiss (rare and very often not admired)
Now there will be times when both parties agree to end their date in whatever way they want. The nightmare comes in when there is a disagreement and both people end up over-thinking every single "signal" or move that the other makes.
A lot of times, people go into dating without knowing what exactly they want. Over time, if a couple dates and just wants to things copacetic, that's great. What amateur daters don't realize is that they are looking for someone that they think will be okay to bring around their friends. That's all a date/a girlfriend/a boyfriend is in this world, when you boil it down.
It is great if two people can connect on other levels, but that comes after finding someone in the first place. However, there is that dreaded destination that seems to be populated with love-scorned men: THE FRIEND ZONE!
This clip from Wet Hot American Summer sums up what the Friend Zone is. Scores of women will deny that the Friend Zone exists or that they have put "friends" there, but that's because if you don't talk about something, it ceases to exist.
This scene by the way, is the worst thing that a guy can hear from someone that he likes, especially at a young age. This is every kid in high school's nightmare. He does all the things that he thinks the girl wants in a guy, but she just wants to have sex with the hotter guy. There is no way around it. C'est la Vie.
Here we go! Game 7! All my friends have given me all the shit in the world for liking basketball because they know that the NBA is fixed. They also forget that the NBA is smart because you make more money with 7 games being played. Enjoy your sweeps and coach plane rides NHL!
Here we go!
Jumpball......and of course there's a fucking whistle.
Ok, take 2. Spurs win the Tip.
Each team now has one turnover. Popovich is ready for his halftime analysis.
Thanks for showing up Pop!
"Super Nintendo" Mario Chalmers waiting for a foul call while catching the ball out of bounds reminded me of the kid's who didn't hustle in travel basketball because they
Two fouls on Manu. Interesting.
Miami fans are so interesting to watch. They all wear white, yet they all wear stupid accessories, like fedora's and sunglasses IN DOORS! "Hey hun, will this cream colored fedora go good with the D&G sunglasses or my DKNY sunglasses?" "I thought we weren't going to Dolphin's games anymore?"
Commercial breaks are awful. That Lone Ranger movie will get a robust 8% on Rotten Tomatoes. I guarantee it. Johnny Depp is shit. Armey Hammer better run fast because he's been in 2 movies that are shit if you count Lone Ranger.
Chris Bosh wins the 2013 picture taker of the year.
With 2 minutes remaining in the first quarter, both teams give a feeling that either team is going to reach 100 points. Lebron left wide open, miss. Birdman is contributing in his department of rebounding and scoring easy buckets. Shane Battier is hitting his 3's. The Spurs look a little rusty. Kawhi Leonard CANNOT MISS ANYMORE FREE THROWS! (he just missed one). Quarter ends with the Heat ahead by 2, 18-16. Lebron exercising in his fake gym that shows a parking garage in a 30 foot window view is a great ad for Best Buy. COMMERCIALS SUCK!
Tiago Splitter, Winner for Best Name in the NBA Finals, reminds me of the Russian guy from Eddie, who keeps saying "Ivan Make Basket". Just a thought.
Dwayne Wade was just everywhere in the last 2 minutes. Getting a foul, blocking a shot, rebounding and passing about 4 shots. He's tough, but he'll need to stay healthy all game.
There are so many people in the arena wearing sunglasses indoors. Is this a thing I don't know about? Is everyone in Miami just a huge douchebag?
It is at this time that I should mention to everyone that I just learned that Kanye West's baby name is North. North West. As in the direction. Maybe Kanye just saw the movie North and was really enthralled by it.
This is part 1. I don't care about rights, it's on youtube. Deal!
So back to basketball, both teams AREN'T scoring points. It's drive to the hoop, miss, rebound, miss, rebound, loose ball, rebound, drive, miss, rebound, miss, and then whistle. With 3 minutes left, it;s 37-32 coming back from a White House Down commercial starring Bruce Bowen. Surprised he didn't take out Jamie Foxx's ankles in those rebounds.
The Spurs have regained some momentum. They've made 12 straight FT's according to Mike Breen. Wade has really started to take control of this game on the Heat side. He's driving hard, going after rebounds, and making defensive contact. With halftime arriving, it's 48-46 Heat.
The Internet is going insane over a baby named North. I made a joke about baby cologne named North by North West. Speaking of which, it's such a good movie. I guarantee Kanye or Kim hasn't seen it.
Probably my favorite Hitchcock movie. Every scene is amazing, plus it has that awesome shot of Mount Rushmore.
I just went to Yahoo Sports homepage and this is what I see.
Bosh is going to kill Danny Green. It's only a matter of time.
Okay, second half is back.
Mike Breen just told me about Kawhi Leonard's huge hands with an anecdote about huge huge huge huge huge gloves for something. This is basketball. No gloves allowed Breen.
Through several transitions, Miami is up 2 with a score of 54-52. Danny Green made a stupid no-look pass that ended up being stolen by Mike Miller, passed to Lebron, and hurled to Wade for a fast break dunk. The crowd in Miami got excited as usual for dunks.
WNBA live access commercials make me laugh. There is no way that someone pays for that. Sorry females, there isn't just enough interest.
I would really love to hear someone Mic-up Chris Bosh and Tim Duncan. It would mostly be for Chris Bosh, because I don't think Tim Duncan ever speaks.
Dwayne Wade got mad at Chris Bosh and made a really mean face.
Timeout Spurs.
After timeout, Danny Green hits a three. Still more than Ray-Ray.
San Antonio has 8 turnovers at this point of the game, under 5 minutes to go.
Lebron James can also make three's just like Danny Green. Boris Diaw trying to get the ball into the post looks funny. Not ha-ha funny, but funny in a "I'm worried about his health" funny.
Lebron is going to start taking over this game, while the Spurs are going to use the power of teamwork and excellence.
I'd hate to say it, but I don't know if Lebron is going to lose with 26 points in the 3rd quarter. He's going super-saiyan right now. If you don't know what that is, it's because you never watched Dragon Ball Z after school when you were in middle school. I did.
Lebron James has a ton of points right now. So does Dwayne Wade. However, Chris Bosh, Ray Allen, and Mike Miller are 0-11. The Spurs are spreading the floor and getting everyone some points. The Heat are playing 5 on 2.
At the end of the 3rd Quarter, the score is now 72-71 Heat after a Chalmers' buzzer beater three. One quarter left and it looks really tight. Can't wait for this ending.
The beginning of the end it is. 4th Quarter.
Lebron drives, dishes to Battier for three, and he's now 5 for 5.
Duncan sat to start the 4th and just jumped up to check in.
This game is getting TIGHT!!!!
Well this is the part of the game where we can now start to see Spurs defensive fouls as well as Offensive fouls on Spurs players. Anderson went to the line. Lebron is now that the line. I know Steve Javie said earlier that these refs are the best in the league, but I'd expect him to say that about anyone.
Hahahahaha. Chris Anderson just got a lane violation. What is this 5th grade BYB? Nice job.
Duncan just scored on a "shass" from Parker. He took about 4 Heat players with him too.
The Heat's defense is wait for someone to drive and then collapse on them. I don't know if it will work in the time they have left because they could just dump it off and score easy buckets to Duncan.
So much has happened. Manu made 3 mistakes than drained a huge three. Bosh made a foul and Duncan scored the And-1 to make it a game. This is so much excitement. The Spurs are keeping this game tight and I love that this is ending the way it is.
Minute and half left. 2 point game.
Spurs had a chance to score! And they didn't!!!!
Battier could have scored a three, didn't. Lebron didn't score. Spurs are still within 2.
Heat are now up by 4 thanks to Lebron. I don't like him. I mean, I understand he's the best player in the NBA, but he's very hateable.
Pop's coaching coming out the timeout is going to sound like a Disney movie "stick together".
I was wrong on that one^
Parker was sitting on the bench. 3 point shooters and Duncan. He didn't need a three, but instead he got a Manu turnover, which puts him back to 4 mistakes. Dribbling under the basket and then throwing it over 2 guys named Lebron James and Chris Bosh. Spurs turnover. It's been nothing but turnovers. Pop said it in Game 3.
Heat sealed the game with another shot or two. I was busy getting sad. Pop sat Parker. They lost. Can't say that it would've been different, but I'm guessing he wanted a three shooter out there.
To end it well, David Stern said 2002013 NBA Champeens.
So in the last 3 years, basically since I left the education system in this country, the vast majority of people in the United States have noticed that Student Loans are a bigger problem than people originally thought. Anyone that graduated around the year 2000 figured out that they were paying down their student loans for over 10 years. Now, when you graduate from college, your creditors usually give you about 10 years to pay off the loans.
Think about that.
If they average person graduating from college was given 10 years to pay off something, they are about to turn 33 when they pay off their 4 year education. 10 years of earnings to pay off 4 years of learnings. What is wrong with this picture?
This graph above shows that the education system has ousted Capital One, Mastercard, Chase, Visa, AMEX, and every other credit card company for being the burden on a 20-something's earning potential. Now, what's interesting is that I was starting a job right around the time that these two lines crossed. It's as if upon entering the workforce, everyone in the "adult" world woke up and figured out that anyone who graduated college or was graduating college in the coming years would be overpaying for the same education that was given in years prior.
This graph above is a graph that I remember seeing in my college class titled "Work, Jobs, and Income". Surprisingly, none of those things actually get better after taking this class. It was sort of like a cooking class where instead of cooking food, you'd look at the dirty dishes leftover from years ago and examined what was causing the fungus to grow so fast. Now, what this graph doesn't show is that even though the high school graduate earns less over time from the college graduate, it does not factor in the costs of college.
Consider the fact, that college loans MUST be repaid. They are never forgiven and must be paid back. Suddenly, that blue line dips below the $0 barrier and puts you anywhere from $-15,000 in debt to $-200,000 in debt. Now, I've heard sadistic stories of what kids are now paying for a college degree. The fact that people are paying TWICE WHAT I EARN IN A YEAR is disgusting. What's also disgusting is that more and more jobs are demanding a college degree that used to not require a college degree, thus forcing a vast majority of our future money-makers (aka kids) into getting these loans.
This graph above illustrates that there are even further financial benefits to getting a Bachelor's degree other than an Associate's degree.
If you are the kind of person that thinks, "well I'll just rise above the rest and get a Doctorate, an MBA, or a JD, or some other advanced degree, I have a task for you. Step 1 is Go to Google.com or Bing.com for all you Bingers out there. Step 2 is type into a search bar "Is An MBA" and look what comes up...
There is one semi-solution to this overpaying for college degrees and advanced learning: STEAL IT! Or find a way to learn for Free-Thousand dollars. Khan Academy. Codecademy. Lynda.com. The Library and $10 for late fees. iTunes U. I just listed 4 major learning portals that are pennies compared to a university's bill. The picture above is Khan Academy creator Salman Khan. I've been to the website and it's awesome that this exists. Theories drawn out, explained in 10 minute videos, with little to no distractions. Children are learning from Khan Academy at a young age. Want to hear FREE lectures from Top tier Universities? iTunes U. Want to learn some software? Lynda.com (it requires a subscription) Want to learn how to build some apps for your iPhone and do coding for computers? Codecademy. Guess what? ALL OF THOSE THINGS CAN MAKE YOU SMARTER AND RICHER! I really wish I was wearing a suit with question marks all over it while yelling that.
After that tirade I feel like Will Hunting when he's arguing about Gordon Wood with the long-haired guy.
I hope you enjoyed. Now if you excuse me, I have to go earn some money to pay down some debt.
I'll watch the rest of Longmire on Netflix. BUT, I will only finish watching the first episode. How interesting can the State Troopers of Wyoming be? Unless Lou Diamond Phillips delivers a performance that stuns me into a second episode, I don't think I will ever watch this show again.
So where we left off, Branch Connolly, is confronted by our Hero Longmire in the Sheriff's office about running for his position. In a quick argument, Longmire sets out to go do what Branch should have done, since he has proven that he is under-qualified for the Sheriff's job. Branch heads out to seek a favor from his favorite native American bartender.
At the bar, we see Longmire walk up to the bar and ask the bartender for a favor. THE BARTENDER IS LOU DIAMOND PHILLIPS!!!!!! I knew he'd be around!
Longmire needs to ask Lou the Bartender here for some help on getting onto the reservation. Lou can't do anything but help in this case. So Lou drives back to his house after he's off of his tireless shift of getting people skunk drunk on Peyote Budweiser. Once there, Lou's sister says that those dogs can smell white people. I chuckled.
So as we are now stuck in the middle of the night with dogs barking and no clue as to who is in the back of Lou's truck. Oh wait, we totally do, it's Longmire. Always a gentleman.
Longmire and Pocahontas talk about some girl that is missing, or whatever was going on in the first half of this episode. Apparently there is some prostitution going on in the Wyoming count. Lou and Longmire chat about it on the ride back and then Lou says something very Indian-like about man. Longmire agrees silently.
The next morning someone shows up at the door. Longmire calls her 'punk', I call her 'The Miracle of another sexy woman in the state of Wyoming".
Oh wait! It's his daughter. And I think she's a lawyer since she said she needs to be in court and doesn't look like a cattle thief. His daughter brought out the hidden box labeled Tea, that doesn't have tea in it since Longmire here is a French Press black coffee man. Oh great! It's full of his wife's Ashes! Nothing like steeping your wife's ashes in some hot water for a morning pick-me-up. I'm just kidding, that doesn't happen.
It seems like Longmire and his female deputy have something of a lead here. The pair of pants has a belt buckle on them that for some reason reminded Longmire of something that used to be a ranch some years back. Here we have a lineup of workers who are cooperating. No one recognizes the pants that blondie is holding so then have to take their pants off. Cue the Black Keys. I'm not kidding, she says take your pants off and then The Black Keys start playing. I have a feeling "Sport" here and his hardo buddy picked out that playlist for this episode.
After a 20 second montage of men trying a pair of Wrangler's and smirks from blondie, we find out that it is indeed "Sport" whose dungarees those are. Of course, blondie has to be all "Hello Cinderella" because there is no way that a pair of pants won't fit more than one man on a ranch in Wyoming. Not a chance in hell one pair of dungarees can fit another person. But then Longmire pulls out the belt buckle that he got for his birthday from the ranch owner aka Dad. I'd like to point out that if we just pulled out the belt buckle first, the trying on pants montage could have been negated all together.
Looks like someone has been dabbling in underaged prostitutes in the state of Wyoming, which is statutory rape, so says our hero. The boy talks and says that many people go outside to the reservation to pick up hookers and bang them in trailers. But then the trailers move around the state so that they don't find them. I'm sure those probably make the best Craigslist postings. "SWF seeks Wrangler wearing cowboy to lasso this steer", or something like that. How many people can use Craigslist in Wyoming? In the final sentence in the interrogation, we find that it's the "Indian at the Red Pony" who knows where the hookers come from. Time for Longmire to go visit his friend, Lou Diamond Phillips, who is named Henry. I don't know why it took me so long to find that out.
Longmire storms into the Red Pony and asks what Henry has got himself into. Henry replies, and I kid you not "Jukebox is broken, only plays country." I can't even begin to break down how dumb that is. A jukebox, which is hilarious to see an Indian repair, is being fixed since it only plays country. IN WYOMING! "Turns out Longmire, we've had some requests for that new Dubstep and Screamo Punk music that the kids are raving about. We can't let this bar turn into one of those broken down bars that only locals come to to eat ribs, drink heavy beer, and then drive around in the country to widdle a walking stick. That's what Applebee's is for." This show is getting more and more irritating to watch. Yes, I know it's set in the country, but the fact that someone needs to fix a jukebox to not play country music anymore is just ridiculous.
So Henry and Longmire have a standoff that lasts less than 5 minutes. Henry pretty much says "are you going to let 37 years of friendship be thrown away before you trust me?" Longmire does the Wyoming version of the Horatio Cane open jacket stance to show his power and his badge. Then walks out of the bar after Henry tells him he should find his lead to the missing dead hooker somewhere outside.
Longmire and Branch get into an argument over the probably murder weapon. Upon further review from Longmire, the gun that is in question is clogged up from black powder corroding the metal on the inside of the gun. Longmire knows his chemistry. Or he knows enough about gun corrosion to show up a minor.
Branch and Longmire begin to argue about Sheriff campaigns and what this town wants to see from it's Sheriff. Branch thinks he has the skinny on his boss, noting that a Sheriff who drives around with beer cans in his truck is past his prime. Longmire points out that when he drinks, he drinks Rainer, and the reason he has beer cans in his truck is because he hates looking at litter. Which really plays well into the idea I had in the first blog post I had about this show. So Branch gets what's coming to him and that is a speech about Longmire advising he read some Sherlock Holmes to work on his detective skills.
I imagine this is the liquor that Longmire loves to sip down. It's malt, which may throw someone off the scent, but maybe the marketing company for Rainier just really wanted to find some revenue out there that wasn't from Pre-Depression T-Bills.
The wife of the dead man in question (which by and large seems so God damned removed from the rest of the story) comes in and asks Longmire for some getting over your dead husband advice. It's been probably a day since he died. I switched away from the Netflix screen to go and type that last sentence and BOOYAH!!!!:
RAINIER IN THE HOUUUSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Looks like someone loves getting sloshy with the local hair-growing hobo! So happy I caught that. From this conversation, which lasts about 1 minute on-screen turns into some insightful evidence about "the indian that works at the Red Pony". Apparently, there is more than one working at the Red Pony, prompting Longmire to go out and meet up with Henry, and maybe apologize if the Rainier hasn't gone to his head.
Longmire meets up with Henry and finds out where to meet the kid they want to arrest. The other "Indian" at the Red Pony just shows up at a random house and tries to explain himself to Longmire. Longmire, ready with gun drawn, let's the kid talk. The kid's name is Avo, which I'm guessing is short for Avocado. Avocado, as he will now be known is struck from a distant sniper bullet from someone well-hidden. Longmire runs for cover, counting to 5, knowing that a sniper needs time to reload in single shot weapon.
The next sequence that really makes me laugh, is that the sniper is apparently terrible from close range, shooting directly into the center of an oncoming Ford Bronco. However, Longmire gets out of his car, grabs his rifle which looks more like Ralphie's rifle from A Christmas Story, and nails the sniper, who has now gotten into his Cadillac SUV and driven probably 60-80 yards from where Longmire is parked. WHAT IS THIS SHOW?! Longmire confronts the gunman, who is actually some actor we saw earlier in the show but at this point is irrelevant. He has a goatee. With Longmire walking away with more information about how to stop the prostitution in Wyoming, the gunman begs for mercy and asks Longmire to call him an ambulance. Only there's one thing: Longmire doesn't have a cell phone. Which may or may not be illegal for all police officers. Uncovering montage occurs. Families reunite. Sex trade ends. Hooray for all.
Our final shot, we see Longmire hammer a cross into the ground. Is he about to bury his dead wife's ashes and move on?
No. Because he's still traveling with his wife's ashes in his truck. He just posted a Re-Elect Longmire for Sheriff sign.
This show sucks. Your welcome for spoiling and ruining everything.
So I have this theory about the way women think and how they find their attraction in someone else. I was listening to a podcast talk about David Spade and who he has dated. You figure at first sight, David Spade is who he is. He’s about to get into his 50’s, he was on SNL back in the Sandler/Farley/Myers days has managed to pull down a ton of tail in the meantime. Here’s what I mean:
Actor A has worked in about 50 movies and television shows. Actor A is also 5 foot 4 inches tall, has a net worth around $40 million dollars. Actor A also has a couple of Emmy nominations and a couple of wins for being on television. He became popular for being a sketch comedy show around the 1990’s.
Actor B has worked in 50 movies and television shows. Actor A is 6 feet 1 inch tall, has a net worth or $150 million dollars. Actor A has a couple of Golden Globe wins. He was also famous for being a sketch comedy show during the 1980’s and 90’s.
Actor A’s past girlfriends are Lara Flynn Boyle, Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, Jillian Reynolds, Nicollette Sheridan, Heather Locklear and many playboy playmates.
Actor B’s past girlfriends are Jenny McCarthy, Linda Ronstadt, January Jones, Courtney Cox, Renee Zellweger, and Lauren Holly.
Actor A is David Spade and Actor B is Jim Carrey.
Now the theory here is that if women see that a woman is dating someone that is a particular nobody in the public light, then they will think that there is something about that person that isn’t readily known but makes them suspicious that they are actually better than perceived. Heather Locklear is a stone cold fox, especially during the 1990’s and 1980’s.
Women will see who other women’s boyfriends are and if the couple doesn't seem quite right then they will conclude that there is something about that man that is special or unknown, but in a good way. In short, “if he can land her, then he is good enough for me.” Men do not usually think this way, women however, think this way all the time. Now David Spade has been able to still have work and that’s great for him. But Jim Carrey has still been able to carry a movie, land laughs all around and was Funniest Man of the Year several times during his long run of comedy. But if you measured a man by who he brings to his bed, Spade takes this race in spades (pardon the pun).
I’m wondering if a man can convince a woman, just one hot woman, to sleep with him, or at least make the impression that they have been sleeping together for about a year or so, he will be able to pull down lots of hot women for the rest of his career. Now when men measure each other it’s usually with wealth, work, and women. The car they drive, they women they fuck, and how many friends they keep. I don’t think David Spade is on any level close to Jim Carrey, yet they have been working just as long as each other and they are able to have 2 successful careers, while Spade has a higher puss-kill.
The idea of just being with one hot woman can change the future relationship trajectory is vastly amusing to me. So, for all the hot women out there that want to make every guy’s future life more enjoyable - date the ugly nerd or the not-so-hot guy who will probably never forget what you will do to his confidence in his life. And you probably won’t even have to do that much.
So I woke up this weekend and figured I would turn on some TV to see what is on since I didn't want to watch Netflix programming. I came across this infomercial about a blender since I just love making smoothies. However, the guy doing the infomercial is just another "made in the board room" personality. They occur all the time. Just look at Food Network and tell me that these personalities weren't decided upon by a group of people thinking viewers of all backgrounds could relate. Why the image of someone is ranked higher than the actual demonstration of a person is beyond me.
If you've ever seen an episode of MasterChef, or even a commercial, you can tell what I'm talking about. Let met illustrate.
In this picture are the hosts/judges on the Master Chef show. On the left is Joe Bastianich, who is a chef who I swear could've seen on Bravo's Top Chef when I watched daytime TV and worked nights. Looks like a stylish chef who probably won't cook for you unless you've ordered a pricey wine and don't mind eating tiny portioned meals. Next in line is Chef Gordon Ramsay, who is known for telling everyone in the restaurant business their dishes are salty, bland, or dog's bollocks. On the left is a man who looks like Chaz Bono. I'm not kidding, go google Chaz Bono. I'll wait.
(waiting)
Ok, see the resemblance? Now, if you were the producers of the TV show, why wouldn't you just have the third judge be a woman? I remember seeing an episode of this show with family, and one person chimed in, "What makes me trust this person?". That question alone shows that the decisions involved in a cooking competition show are made by people who are worried about relating to all types of viewers rather than the quality of content.
The tattoos, the funky glasses, the LA looks hair, and the fact that he never wears a suit, is a dead giveaway that the producers want to reach hipster-foodies who may or may not look like Chaz Bono. Not to take anything away from this show or the Chefs on it, but ONE WOMAN COULD RELATE MORE TO YOUR VIEWERS THAN ANYONE WITH TATTOOS AND HIPSTER GLASSES!!!!!!! (I know TV producers aren't reading this, but it needed to be yelled)
Now I know that high-stakes cooking is all the rage with TV watchers and "I can totally relate to the weird one" viewers. I just don't understand why the producers don't get one woman judge on this show. Other high-stakes cooking shows have made the jump, so why not this one.
We all know the scenario at one of the dish tastings. Chef Joe B walks up to the table, stares at the cook and then the dish with a questionable look that Patton had when he went to Russia. He tastes the dish praying he doesn't die, but also looking pissed for being paid millions to eat food in front of a camera.
You call this shit Tapas! Whack!
Gordon Ramsay walks over picking up the fork, moving around some of the food while saying "F*** me" or "F***ing Hell" and then tasting it. Probably has 14-15 wrinkles show up on his forehead in the process and then heads back to the judges stand. I'm guessing the Hipster-Judge walks over and tastes the food looking completely satisfied that he is getting paid to eat food in front of a camera with some Tommy Bahama shirt on. Now that I think about it, maybe the fat-hipster guy is the normal one and the two uptight pricks are just uptight pricks who steal tips from kitchen staff.
But back to the blender infomercial that has the guy fist-pumping the blender working. Can the image of a fat man with hipster glasses just be inviting for some people? Maybe the sight of a heavyset bald man just seems a bit intense? Maybe a thin Ty Pennington looking guy with a flavor saver just doesn't appeal anymore? Who knows, but the answer lies within our brains. If it is true about fat guys with hipster glasses, maybe I need to get a pair of Warby Parker's.
Here's what I was talking about:
And again, this time single serving:
Brenda is so impressed, but baldy here seems to be hearing dubstep instead of a blender going off.
Here is a demonstration by a youtuber that bought a Ninja system, just to see how it works.
I was listening to a Dave Ramsey podcast last week in which he went toe to toe with a young financial writer from Fool.com, over a headline that stated Dave Ramsey Offers Dangerous Financial Advice.
Now after listening to the whole podcast, I realized that I didn't seem to understand what the problem was. Dave was audibly upset that his credibility was being ruined by a blogger who, although seemed to be only a couple years into his job, was correcting some of the things Dave was saying/tweeting to his followers.
To be clear, there are some things that Ramsey has advised and said/tweeted that are a bit suspect. However, he is a tough man who is hard to extrapolate an apology from or even change his opinion on certain matters. I didn't bother with the math on this tweet, because I'd suspect it's correct. I think it's just one of those statements that get people arguing over investing and futures and market volatility and all that garbage.
The exchange between the men seemed unneeded. All that needed to be said was 'Ok, sorry, I screwed up, I'll change whatever you want me to change' from either party. But because pissing contests don't end in that fashion, we just get two people arguing and no one really winning.
What I started to realize was that even our elders are adapting to an age where anything negative about them becomes an instant attack. It's as if every single blog post or tweet or comment with a negative connotation, all of the sudden has teeth that pierce skin and leave someone for dead. Are we unable to accept ANY comments that people disagree on? I'll be the first to say that I've made Yelp posts that go over the top on some things that make restaurant owners and operators react negatively. There was a whole Kitchen Nightmare's episode about owner's that illustrated the fact that some people cannot take any comments on anything negative about their business.
If I were the guy that wrote for the Motley Fool that titled something "Danger Advice from Finance Guru Dave Ramsey", and having the knowledge of what to expect when I sent it out to the Interwebs, I would've asked someone, "Hey is this title too much?". That's really all that was needed. Anyone could say, "Well, it might be a little too harsh. How about 'Questionable advice' or 'Risky' or 'Harmful'?" But then again, most blogger's don't have an editor to do that. Whether or not the writer has an editor is irrelevant, it shows that he didn't even question his own writing before sending it out or thinking about reactions to the piece.
If you did a quick Google search and typed in 'Dave Ramsey Arguments', you would see almost every single post involving the tweet from above. There is one here that includes 5 things the writer disagrees with but it stems from the 12% argument. This post about credit cards made the argument that rewards cards are useful for travel. No offense to that writer at MSN Money, but I have 2 rewards cards and they haven't paid any real dividends. Also, why would I question about going to Detroit or Guatemala?
There a couple more things that go back a couple of years that include the 12% solution. I don't really care about what money turns into what money over the course of 60 years. Does anyone get pissed when they turn into an old miser about not having an extra million sitting in their retirement account? Wouldn't you just be happy to have over a million dollars if you stayed alive that long?
Here's what has worked for me being a poor 20-something working Dave's plan:
$1000 in savings is fine. I also put into it per paycheck, but in small amounts.
I froze/cut-up/hid my credit cards that had the high interest rates to curb my spending habits, leaving only one to my disposal.
I said "NO" to my friends sometimes when they wanted to spend the money that I didn't have.
I work overtime if it's available.
I make cheaper substitutes and go for the cheaper lifestyle: Cable is more expensive per month than Hulu+ and Netflix - Make the smart choice; I own a Keurig but I buy regular coffee by the pound and have it ground to the fine blend instead of paying $7 for 12 cups of coffee when I could buy 50+ cups for $9; I started cooking more often; I go to a $10/month gym and bought a rope to skip since that's even cheaper
I sell things I no longer need/use: movies, books, jackets, anything goes up on craigslist.
Guess what? These changes are all working, and if I didn't have a certain brother to introduce me to Dave Ramsey, I'd probably be dead broke and probably in even worse debt.
Before I go, I hope for the rest of our sanity that people learn to take negative comments instead of thinking they are attacks on their credibility or worse. We all have backbones, right?
A coworker of mine was talking about a famous person that gets a lot of action in the bedroom.
If a regular dude, sitting at a sports bar with his girlfriend, was approached by this person and felt that his girlfriend was attracted to him, it would befuddle the shit out of him.
So now I'm going to try and give you guys a riddle to figure out if you think you would be intimidated by another dude by the description I give.
This dude is shorter than you.
This dude has curly hair.
This dude wears a lot of tight clothing.
This dude plays a guitar.
This dude can sing in a high pitched voice and a low baritone voice.
Not intimidated yet? Okay, this guy wears high heels.
Not yet? This guys wears makeup.
Still don't think your girlfriend could walk away with someone that dresses like this and has this image? Guess what, it's Prince.
Prince could absolutely walk away with anyone's girlfriend if he wanted to. Every dude knows it and every girls knows it. If I told you that your girlfriend would be picked up by a guitar playing short man with curly hair that also wore heels and makeup - you'd laugh your ass off. If I told you your girlfriend would get picked up by Prince, you say "God dammit!"
This is a lesson in that it's not exactly the image that a man has that attracts women, but it's his cadence and his demeanor, and probably whether he smells like a tire-fire or something expensive from the cologne section in Macy's.
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