Garden Update #6: No idea if it's really the sixth.

So the tomatoes are coming in.  The cilantro is coming great.  The zucchini have come in.  I've had three zucchini come up and one cucumber.  That one tomato is turning red.  I'm guessing that by monday, I'll have probably enough to make something.

Student Loans and a bullshit Education system

So in the last 3 years, basically since I left the education system in this country, the vast majority of people in the United States have noticed that Student Loans are a bigger problem than people originally thought.  Anyone that graduated around the year 2000 figured out that they were paying down their student loans for over 10 years.  Now, when you graduate from college, your creditors usually give you about 10 years to pay off the loans.

Think about that.

If they average person graduating from college was given 10 years to pay off something, they are about to turn 33 when they pay off their 4 year education.  10 years of earnings to pay off 4 years of learnings.  What is wrong with this picture?

This graph above shows that the education system has ousted Capital One, Mastercard, Chase, Visa, AMEX, and every other credit card company for being the burden on a 20-something's earning potential.  Now, what's interesting is that I was starting a job right around the time that these two lines crossed.  It's as if upon entering the workforce, everyone in the "adult" world woke up and figured out that anyone who graduated college or was graduating college in the coming years would be overpaying for the same education that was given in years prior.

This graph above is a graph that I remember seeing in my college class titled "Work, Jobs, and Income".  Surprisingly, none of those things actually get better after taking this class.  It was sort of like a cooking class where instead of cooking food, you'd look at the dirty dishes leftover from years ago and examined what was causing the fungus to grow so fast.  Now, what this graph doesn't show is that even though the high school graduate earns less over time from the college graduate, it does not factor in the costs of college.

Consider the fact, that college loans MUST be repaid.  They are never forgiven and must be paid back.  Suddenly, that blue line dips below the $0 barrier and puts you anywhere from $-15,000 in debt to $-200,000 in debt.  Now, I've heard sadistic stories of what kids are now paying for a college degree.  The fact that people are paying TWICE WHAT I EARN IN A YEAR is disgusting.  What's also disgusting is that more and more jobs are demanding a college degree that used to not require a college degree, thus forcing a vast majority of our future money-makers (aka kids) into getting these loans.

This graph above illustrates that there are even further financial benefits to getting a Bachelor's degree other than an Associate's degree.

If you are the kind of person that thinks, "well I'll just rise above the rest and get a Doctorate, an MBA, or a JD, or some other advanced degree, I have a task for you.  Step 1 is Go to Google.com or Bing.com for all you Bingers out there.  Step 2 is type into a search bar "Is An MBA" and look what comes up...

Now any idiot can tell you that an MBA is hard.  But what's shocking about all of this is that it's all brand new!  If you picked up a pamphlet that said "Is An MBA Right For You?" at a university, I would advise that you check the date at which it was printed.  MBA's are graduating and they're degrees aren't paying the same dividends that an MBA would pay 10 years ago.  So if you were to ask me, "Hey Mark, what do you think about getting an MBA?" I was say No, it isn't worth it.  I won't get into a top school.  I'd probably end up dropping out and wasting money.  Plus if everyone gets an MBA, won't I need to have something else that they don't have to be competitive?

There is one semi-solution to this overpaying for college degrees and advanced learning: STEAL IT!  Or find a way to learn for Free-Thousand dollars.  Khan Academy.  Codecademy.  Lynda.com.  The Library and $10 for late fees.  iTunes U.  I just listed 4 major learning portals that are pennies compared to a university's bill.  The picture above is Khan Academy creator Salman Khan.  I've been to the website and it's awesome that this exists.  Theories drawn out, explained in 10 minute videos, with little to no distractions.  Children are learning from Khan Academy at a young age.  Want to hear FREE lectures from Top tier Universities?  iTunes U.  Want to learn some software?  Lynda.com (it requires a subscription)  Want to learn how to build some apps for your iPhone and do coding for computers?  Codecademy.  Guess what?  ALL OF THOSE THINGS CAN MAKE YOU SMARTER AND RICHER!  I really wish I was wearing a suit with question marks all over it while yelling that.

After that tirade I feel like Will Hunting when he's arguing about Gordon Wood with the long-haired guy.

I hope you enjoyed.  Now if you excuse me, I have to go earn some money to pay down some debt.

Day 22: How Have You Changed In the Past 2 Years...

First off, I would like to say that I'm not making these up and that I would not really talk about my past this much.

Two years ago, a friend of mine, ask me to say some MC rhymes...

Okay, that's from a Run DMC song.  I don't have any friends with MC rhymes.  Let's see.  Two years ago was May 9th, 2011.  I was about 2 years out of college.  Which means I was about 6 years out of high school.  I was 24.

I think in the last two years, I really haven't changed that much.  I started getting better money habits since then.  I followed some of Dave Ramsey's advice to help me.  I worked where I still work now, which is Bank of America.  Sorry to say that I'm pretty sure I had a different boss, different hours, and the same shitty attitude about working there.

I don't think I've changed that dramatically.  Looking at my Facebook from May, I had made my first cut-off pair of Sworts(sweatpants that are now shorts) and cut the sleeves off a wolf shirt.  Yes, I own a wolf shirt.  I own 2.

In the past two years, I went to Vegas with my friends from home and had the time of my life.  I went to The Spearmint Rhino and spent more money than I needed to.  This was during my spendthrift days.  I also started making my own food during then.  Notably, I made my two favorite dips: Mango "salsa" and Guacamole.  I've made these more and more, and I've even nailed down some of the important tips to remember.  They've been a big hit at most parties.

I also tried making things with Sweet Potatoes, like fries, and they came out awesome.  Such a good recipe.

It was August of 2011 that I had my first car negotiation.  My original car, the 199? Oldsmobile Ciera had died the day after I drove back from Maine.  I needed to get a new car and use my own money to pay for it.  I found a friend who was selling a good car, a 1999 Honda CRV with about 100k miles, and I bought it.  I had to trade in some savings bonds, but it's better than getting a loan and paying interest on it.  The picture below was what my truck of my old car looked like the majority of the time.

I went to Pensacola with some college friends during Spring Break.  Note: we weren't in college, yet still felt obligated to party with college aged people.

I also had a streak of some of the best Halloween costumes I've ever made.  I was Mohmar Qaddafi in 2011.

 And then I was Bane in 2012.

As a person, I really haven't changed.  I changed some habits.  I stopped spending so much money on food and trips.  I started saying No to some things to save money.  I picked up healthier living.  I also started doing this more: blogging.  I got back into writing.

I used to write a ton, but I've settled that down a bit.  I still haven't finished a screenplay like I wanted to.  I want to accomplish more, but I sometimes find that these little journey's I want to go on need either more money, more time, and more commitment than originally planned.  It sounds like I'm trying to live more than one life, but it's only because I want it all.  I want to be everything I dream about.  I want to work with wood and tools.  I want to write screenplays.  I want to write books.  I want to do standup.  I want to see $1 Million dollars in my name.  I want to travel the world and document it.  I want to cook and taste so many foods.  But because of the way I'm living and the choices I made, I have to learn to cross off some of those things and forget them.

That's what's been the hardest: looking at the trajectory of my life and the life I want to lead, and bringing it back down to Earth and being realistic.  Sure I can make goals of doing crunches or squats or whatever for 30 days, but the long term goals that are 5 years are the hardest because anything can be sitting around the corner just waiting to screw up your plans.

Day 19: Biggest Regret in Life...

Wow.  Where to begin.  I'm sure there is a short list of regrets in all of us.  But I'm trying to think of the ones that seem bigger than "wish I didn't eat Calzone all those times".  This blog post also required a nap.  I tend to use my naps to go deep into my own history like Optimus Prime used the Matrix of Leadership to find out the solutions to catastrophic world problems: (skip to 5:00 mark to understand what I'm talking about)

But to come back to Earth from Nerd Dreamland, I think I can narrow my regrets down to a couple.

Regret #1 - Not saying "Yes" to a girl's request during a middle school dance request.

So when I was in middle school, we had a dance for I think just 8th graders since we were the ones going onto high school.  There was a girl who, to be honest, I wasn't thinking much about.  But during our last school dance, she had her friend ask me if she wanted to dance.  Now, to set the scene, I am literally standing up against the wall and she is standing with her friends.  Her friend asks me if I would dance with her during the slow dance, and I said "No".  Now, what happened later in the following years was what happens to most girls from 8th grade until high school graduation: they get hot.  And when I backtrack some of my love-life lows, I think this is one of the things I remember that I wish I would've changed.  To be honest, I don't even know why I didn't say Yes.  I wish I could have been there now to walk up to myself, slap me in the face, and then say "Go and slow dance with her you  moron!"  

Regret #2 - Not being a boyfriend when I had the chance to be.

Another regret involving women.  After high school, I had become what I thought was good friends with a girl I didn't think I would be with.  Now, this being before college, I didn't even think about the prospect of having a girlfriend for a summer and then parting ways before college started.  It didn't cross my mind until I understood the situation with Seth and Jules in Superbad.  I didn't end up really talking to the girl that much afterwards.  It ended messy and I felt that I dropped the ball.  Again.

Regret #3 - Going to Coutnryfest in 2005

So after high school was over and I went to go enjoy my summer between college and high school.  I went to a country concert for the first (and last) time.  What you have to know is that I was under-aged, didn't have a ticket, and didn't have a cell phone.  I got shitfaced, stole 5 coolers of beer from other people's open trucks while they were attending the concert, and then decided to drive home.  Big mistake.  I got stopped by a couple of parking lot cops and I was cuffed and taken to the drunk tank.  Fast forward a little bit, through seeing one of my friends in the drunk tank and the place smelling like death, to me getting back in the transport vehicle to going down to the Wrentham Town Sheriff's office and being "booked".  I was 18.  I had to pay $40 for my freedom and then had to walk back to Gillette Stadium.  In the dark.  In sandals.  Without a cell phone.  I eventually walked into Sharon without knowing it, and had a friendly cop offer to call a cab as long as I called my Mom to tell her where I was.  This is the short story, but I ended up getting home okay.  I had to show up in court on Monday and pay $100 in court fines as long as I plead guilty.

I think we can end this blog there.  I'm getting in a nice steady flow of doing this everyday.  My next blog will be about my 30 day challenges and what I plan to do with more of them.

Day 17: Your High's and Low's of this past year

Okay, so I have to back track a bit.  I'm going to italicize the bad things and make the good things in bold font.  If I checked facebook from the last year until now (checking)...

So last year on Cinco de Mayo, I went down to New Bedford to visit some old college friends and drink.  It was there that I realized that UMass Dartmouth had put up a windmill and was in the midst of building a new building.  As of now, I think they are going to need a lot more renovations to save their admissions if you've been watching the news lately.

I also changed around my living room and didn't have a roommate at this time last year.  I also cleaned out my shed this time last year.  I know this because I can see it happening on Facebook.  I went to see Primus with my friends Jack and Bill at the Boston Opera House (at least I think it's the Opera House).

What's really funny is that this time last year, the Great Gatsby trailer was released and you know what?  The movie is STILL not out yet.  That's how awful I plan for this movie to be.  This movie trailer has been surfaced for more than a year.  It's also showing in 3D, which is now the stamp for "we need to make so much money off this movie it sucks this bad".

My summer of 2012 was pretty fun as well.  I went down the Vineyard to party it up with my friend Travis.  I love the Vineyard in the summertime.  I also had a nice weekend down the cape with the whole family together.  That was a really fun time.  It was nice to see everyone under one roof for the short time that we had.  I started reading George Pelecanos books and haven't got back to them since finishing the first one.  I also spent a couple of weekends during last summer getting "certified" to become a bartender.  I trained with about 25 other people my age to become a bartender, but I have yet to get a job as a bartender.  I know, my fault.

I turned 26 last year, which is a useless birthday to celebrate.  My cell phone also broke and had to use one of the cell phones that my friend Jon had sitting in his desk.  I still have it now and it's a great paper weight.  I ended up bidding for one on Ebay that was identical to mine since I didn't have the money to sign up for a new one and my contract wasn't yet up.

The Olympics happened, which was entertaining.  The Red Sox made a $250 Million dollar trade.  I was still working at the same job I am now and I broke my promise of trying to switch jobs and get the hell out of Bank of America.  I joined a Fantasy Football league in which I made a slew of new friends and went to Mohegan Sun, made week to week bets with other guys and just had a great time overall.  Can't wait for that again this year.  I found a retained a roommate that is still living with me.  I had my wisdom teeth removed, which was nice to take some time off of work, and is documented on my Tumblr.  I learned how to wrap my face in bandages in case there is anything wrong with my jaw.

There was a huge hurricane in New England that flooded most of Quincy.  I was Bane for Halloween, in which I won Scariest Costume at a costume party.  The NFL had their whole Referee dilemma which turned into a real clusterfuck, and then one week in Miami, this happened.  Fast-forwarding through Winter, I learned how to use the snowblower.  I spent New Years Eve in Boston, which was fun for doing something new.  I went to Memphis for work, which was fun for the two weeks I was there.  I ate much barbecue, I would've gained probably 30 pounds if I stayed there more than 2 weeks.  I came home to a huge snowstorm that nearly ruined all of the Northeast.   I found out that after working in Memphis, I think that a life in traveling is very much up my alley.  

I started this website through GoDaddy, called NoMoreGoofs.com.  It started out as a business idea for movie studios that would want to cut down on the number of "Goofs" that occur in movies.  Pretty much a small money idea that would help people clean up some of the mistakes that audiences are quicker to catch.  I haven't really touched it since I started it and it's pretty much been just a domain that I paid $80 dollars for 3 years.

I did get started in my journey to become Debt-Free.  I've paid off 2 of 3 credit cards.  I've been trying to work hard getting more money and cutting back my expenses.  It's a journey and not getting any other bites on jobs has made this hard.  I think getting a part-time job along with a new full-time job is really the next big thing I need to shift into a higher gear.

To summarize my last year, it's been several things up and several things down.  I feel that some of the ups in my life have been related to other things that don't really involve me.  As if my happiness can be quantified by which movies are in theaters.  In terms of relationships, it's been mostly down, but I keep trying to find a new person to meet.  Dating sucks.  I've made probably one female friend out of maybe 5 or 6 that I've gone on a date with.  Maybe I need some outside help that I have yet to seek.  Let's hope that this next year is going on the up and up.

Day 15: 15 Interesting facts about Myself

Here are some things you may or may not have known about me:

1. After I was born on August 2, 1986, my Mom had an Italian sub soon after my birth.  Every time I get one now, she thinks there is a connection between the two.
2. When I was in Cub Scouts, I won 2nd place in the Pine Wood Derby contest.
   
3. My childhood best friend, Anthony, moved away when I was going into the second grade, I found him  relatively recently on Facebook.  He didn't know how to spell my last name, and I kind of knew how to spell his and tried to go for it.  We watched a lot of WWF wrestling, Transformers, and Power Ranger together back in the day.  His family is doing great from what I can see on Facebook. 
4. My first car was purchased for $500 and it was a stick shift that I had to teach myself how to drive.  It was a green 1992 Ford Taurus SHO.  Probably the most fun car I've ever owned.  It's the exact same car that Conan O'Brien owned.
   
5. When I was 18, I got in trouble for underage drinking and ended up walking from the Wrentham County Sheriff's office to the Shaw's supermarket in Sharon, which is about 10 miles.  In sandals.  At night.  Alone.  Drunk.
6. I didn't own a cell phone until I was in college.  My first phone was a crappy Sony Ericsson phone.  I had to carry around people's phone number's in my wallet because I didn't have a place to put them.  I was definitely the last of my friend's to get a cell phone.
   
7. I have seen well over 1500 movies in my lifetime.  I know this because I rate them on Netflix after I am done watching them.  I'm over 1700 last time I checked.
8. One of my first jobs was working for Mark-A-Lot, which is a company that paints lines in parking lots.  I worked for them when I was in high school.  I worked with my friend Travis and we still have some of the funniest memories about all the weirdo's that worked there.  I worked another job with Travis, except this time we mowed lawns and landscaped for my town's utility company.  We also have several stories from that place of work.  Some great summers they were working alongside him.
   
9. I have done my share of binge-drinking.  One time I drank a whole 4 Liter jug of Carlo Rossi Sangria in one night.  I puked it up the next morning.  But rest assured, that was the peak of my drinking.  I never want to go back to that again.
10. I got a Bachelor's degree in Economics.  I find it semi-useless in the post-college world.  I wish I had someone from the future come and talk me into something else.
11. The best concert I ever went to was the 2007 Rock the Bells concert in New York on Randall's Island.  I took the Fung-Wah bus to NYC.  Had no idea where to go really when I got off the bus in Chinatown.  I walked for a while and got on the train leading me to Queens, which was where my hotel was located.  The picture explains who was in the concert, and looking back at it, it's the most talented group of musicians I have seen in one day.  I spent so much money, but for the experience, it was so worth it.  I would've liked to go with more people I knew instead of going and finding other people to hangout with.  One of the many times I was happy that I survived an adventure by myself.
    
12. Another time in Mark Sheehan traveling, I went to California to visit my sister.  There was a spring concert going on, Kahoutek.  I competed in the stump standing competition.  I had a good run until some bitch with a plate of Chinese-ish food knocked into me and I fell off.  So I went over to the beer garden and underage drank until I got kicked out of the beer garden.  Hell of a time.
13. When I was in college, my friends and I drove down to Daytona Florida for Spring Break senior year.  We rented a minivan, drove it down.  The van broke down twice because of people using a generator in the car to watch their god damned TV shows on a computer.  So we had to wait for a new van to be delivered to us at a rest stop.  We get to Daytona, and pretty much drank every day and night.  Speaking of which, Day N Nite by Kid Cudi was the song of that Spring Break.  As was Lady Gaga's first hit "Poker Face", and Lonely Island's "I'm on a Boat".  Awesome memory, except for the ride home which took forever and made me hate New England in March.
14. When I got my first real job after college, I weighed close to 300 pounds.  I slimmed down to a svelt 230 after reading Tim Ferris's 4 Hour Body and pretty much going to the gym every day before work in the afternoon.  I sweated so much during that time.  I'm still stuck at 260ish, but I'm lean.  So I want to lose more weight, but I just can't seem to find any to lose.  I guess I need to find ways to shed other kinds of weight.
15. I am an incredibly lucky person, as proven by my living situation and my journey in life, but I am not as satisfied as I should be.  I always try to think about what I can do better.

Day 8: Most Satisfying Moment in Life Thus Far

This one is going to be a doozy.

Now I have to look back on my life and think about the things that have been satisfying for me.  I've graduated from high school, college.  I've gotten a job on my own.  I purchased a car at 17 and invested in a Roth IRA.

I've never been in an accident, which isn't really a moment to be satisfied about.  I've driven far distances.  I went to New York City alone when I went to Rock the Bells in 2007.

I also flew to California alone in high school to visit my sister.  I went to the Kohoutek Festival which was fun.

I think the most satisfying moment in my life would have to be when I moved out my parent's house.  Even though I moved into the apartment that my grandmother owned, I still think that moving out of my house has given me some sanity.  If I still lived in my parents house now I don't think I would've met some of the people I know now among other things.

But I think doing this blog has served as a reminder that I should take notice of the things that I find satisfying in life.

Day 4: Religious Beliefs (HA!)

If you didn't catch my previous post on top 5 pet peeves, it is located here.

Now for a summation of my religious beliefs.

What one may or may not know about me is that I am usually into a routine.  Lewis Black once explained that he does not have a religion, so he started doing a routine since he couldn't get anything out of Judaism or Catholicism.

Now I was raised Catholic.  Not by choice.  I don't know if I would pick a religion if I had to choose one, they all pretty much suck.  I'm a very secular person.  I usually believe what science tells me.  I don't think that there is a single entity that can be blamed for everything.  I don't think that there is a good or bad place one's spirit goes when they die.  I figure, you live your life, and then one day, you won't be able to.  You go in the ground or in an urn and the people that cared about you say some things.  There isn't much else to it.  We can leave behind things of importance or things that will make someone else happy.  But we have a limited time on this earth and then we leave it to the person who is next.

Being raise catholic comes with this little asterisk of a life achievement: you need to become an "adult" in the church before you can be married in a church.  To me, it's kind of annoying.  I hated going to CCD (which is an abbreviation that I do not know what for) and don't think I got anything out of it.  I rarely go to church since I am mostly sleeping in or nursing a hangover on Sunday mornings.

When I was younger, I didn't really have any attraction to God or church.  I used to sit and color in the church pamphlet that you would get in the front door.  My mom dragged me church and I didn't soak in anything.  Singing in church never appealed to me and neither did reading.  I know my parents don't approve of that, but I don't approve of giving too much to churches that defend pedophiles.  I don't necessarily know how people do this.  I would probably help a person do something rather than give someone a bunch of money and hope they use it correctly.  According to a car ride home once, my parents used to give the church about $100 a week.  Do the math: that's $5200 dollars out the door and into the hands of people you don't really know but only hope they do something good with it.

My beliefs are this: we live, we die, we maybe make children if we meet someone, and if we do fall into a simple routine, we might live longer than we hoped.  The end.

Also, an update: I'm only doing the blog and crunch challenges for this 30 days.  Crunches are coming good but I can't do jumping jacks in my room without hitting something and getting in the way of something else.

Day 3 - Top 5 Pet Peeves

Sorry for the late post, but I've been busy.

So in this third edition of the 30 day blog post challenge: I am to blog about my top 5 pet peeves.  This is assuming I can cut my list down from infinity to 5.  I have many problems with many things.  I don't know exactly which ones I would rank near the top.  Although, I'm guessing that a Pet Peeve is a just a small problem that goes from a bug-bite to an infestation of hives over time, while never being really cured.  I won't put these in any order, but I will try to list 5.

One thing that continuously irritates me is when a company or brand comes out and releases something that they think is so fresh and so new, but when it's brought out to the public, it's a piece of crap idea.  Netflix's Qwikster idea comes to mind.  So does Google Glass and Google Driver.  My friend and I figured out that if no one has to drive a car for a person, that person can go drive around with both hands free.  Meaning that if a pedophile wanted to stay within the speed limits of a school zone and just masturbate in a car while the car drives itself, we've created a bigger problem than needed.  The Google Glass problem is that now we get to see what it's like for a person to see what they are doing.  Now imagine if a porn star got a hold of Google Glass and decided to have a guy finish on said glasses.  Congrats on making a new POV-style of porn Google.  Oh and Google Driver?  Thank you for creating a way for pedophiles to enjoy school zones and for creating a new idea for movie: when two computer driven cars collide, killing everyone.

My second pet peeve is when a parent or an elder hears your warning about something, and is totally shocked when that thing actually happens.  I don't know if this just happens to me, but I get it a lot.  A parent will HEAR you warn about something, and when that thing actually happens, it's a total shock to them.  Maybe it means that my parents don't listen to me.  But I know that it happens with other people too.

My third pet peeve is when women get the false notion that guys want something other than what we've always wanted.  Ladies, when a guy looks at you, he's not looking at your nails, or your earrings, or your bracelets, or anything else that you've burned calories thinking about.  There was a time when a lot of girls dyed their blonde hair jet black and caked on the bronzer.  You know, to look like Kim Kardashian.  Well Kim K is really known for having a huge ass first and foremost.  We do not like her because she has tanned skin and black hair.  We like her because of her giant round tanned ass.

My fourth pet peeve is when you go out to a friend's and if there isn't music blaring all the time, then there is something wrong with the scene.  I enjoy conversations and also enjoy when there is that moment when everyone stops talking simultaneously.  This next part can go in 4-b: when one person is hell-bent on controlling the ipod or music throughout the whole party.  Whoever's house it is you are at, should control the music.  If they have an ipod dock, figure out who has the best playlists and let that person and ONLY that person control the music.  I can't stand when I see 8 ipods near one iDock and everyone jumps in to play one or two songs leading to discussions like "Your music sucks" "No you suck" "F*** you" "Eat sh**", etc.

My fifth and final pet peeve, which will probably be a crime in the future first world: when a person working at a coffee place gets a coffee order wrong.  The way I see it, when a coffee person, who may or may not have full citizenship in the USA, gets a coffee order wrong, it creates a ripple effect for at least one person.  Now, since I live in Mass., Dunkin Donuts has this thing on lockdown in terms of drive-thru and whatnot.  Most people around here get Dunkin Donuts and McDonald's coffee.  Which is funny when you look at it; you might have trouble figuring out whose breakfast sandwiches are more disgusting.  Now it doesn't take a genius to realize that the person working the drive-thru or in the back at a Dunkin Donuts might be from a different country and may not get the order exactly how you wanted it.  Usually when this happens, it makes a person's morning difficult and they get upset for the whole day.  In the future, when productivity is so important for a person's job, the culprit for most slumps and firings will be blamed on breakfasts and coffee orders.  What a day that would be.

Day 2 of 30 Day Challenge - Where I'd like to be in 10 years

This is quite a conundrum.  Usually I stay away from such topics because I never know what the future holds and I either get upset or I struggle to find out what I really want in life.  Most of my goals are things like a 30 day challenge, not a 10 year goal.  I know that when I was 16, I didn't think I would be here.

So, let's work backwards.  Ten years ago, when I was 16, I didn't have much on my plate other than working weekends at a gas station and playing on the JV Basketball team.  I earned $8 an hour and was driving around my parents spare car (96 Mercury Sable if memory serves correct), which was named Blue Bird.  I remember that being a sophomore in high school, I was definitely not into schoolwork.  I zoned out all the time, I listened to a lot of Black Sabbath and other rock-n-roll bands, all while doing my homework.  In fact, the desk I'm sitting at is the same one that I did all of that homework on.  I'd listen to Pink Floyd albums and never get sick of them.  My goals at the time were pretty much to finish my homework, go to basketball practices, and then figure out my social life after that was finished.  I think since I was good at math, I had the idea that I'd want to be accountant.  I do remember, I was very much into cars.  I did have model cars, and at one point, I was so full of teenage angst that I carved/drew into a cork board the words "I WANT TO WORK ON CARS AND THAT"S ALL".  My mom still brings it up when we talk about my future.

Now, at the age of 36.  Here's a quick list of things that I would absolutely want to have or have done:

• done at least one open-mic comedy session
• finish one of the many scripts/screenplays/stories that I've started and put aside
• a very well-paying full time job that I would not regret starting or getting into
• an attractive wife or a steady-girlfriend
• be debt-free for at least one year
• regularly driving a car that is from the 21st century (i still have yet to do this)
• been on an unforgettable vacation (been on 3, but I like vacations)
• I guess I would want a kid at this age, mainly because I'm great with kids and I'd like to someday have kids
• have driven en exotic car, maybe once
• have at least joined an Improv group or some sort of acting group
• still have a consistent Internet presence
• live in a city instead of a suburb
• still be in contact with my college friends
• be a Mr. T (meaning a jack of all trades and a master of 1)
• still have the ability to cook the way I do now
• lived in one other state than Mass.
• Either be my own boss or have a boss that I really like to work for
• not working for Bank of America
• not having a drinking problem
• pretty much in good health
• having my job for me and not the other way around
• be a best-man
• I pretty much want to be a successful comedian

That last one is the real way I feel about my future.  I want to be the guy that you see in the credits of a funny TV show or a funny movie that makes someone else be a comedian or writer.  I'd love to be an SNL writer but I just don't have the background and don't have the gusto to pick up my life and take a giant risk of moving to NYC without any real help.  My mom is a teacher.  My dad is an electrician.  I don't know anyone in show business and knowing that gets me down.  So with this blog post, I will just list my wanted achievements for the next 10 years and strive for what I think I can do.

See you tomorrow!

30 day challenge - Day 1: Relationship status

This is the first day of one of the new 30 day challenges.  I'll exercise my crunches and jumping jacks after this.  The day 1 exercise is to blog about my relationship status, which is single.  Being single has almost become a solidified way of life for me.  I haven't really had an everyday girlfriend.  I've had dates.  I've been involved with girls for more than one weekend.  But I don't think I've been able to put the tag "girlfriend" on a relationship of mine.  It sounds depressing when you think about it.

In high school, I didn't have a girlfriend of any kind.  I took a really sweet girl to Prom, but we didn't really stay together afterwards.  We had some real fun together, but we just didn't click and stay together.  

In college, there were some casual hookups, but same thing.  No one really connected with me.  I don't know if it was the persona that I gave off or what.  I did make a lot of great friends.  And many of them were girls.  Just not a girlfriend.  

Post college pretty much turned into a lonely-fest.  Not seeing the same people you saw every day for 4 years is a real struggle.  I managed to go 4 years in college without really making a single friend that I could get either extra "friendly", romantic or emotional with (however you want to characterize it).  I forget how long ago, but I got a subscription to a dating website, and it initially didn't pan out so well.  I felt more alone.  I put myself out there and I kept getting responses from people I didn't think I wanted to meet.  

Further along the online dating life, I got on a couple of dates, mostly just meals and whatnot.  I go out on one date with this really sweet girl who went to school down south.  We went out on a couple more and I think we connected pretty well.  I think I dropped the ball on staying connected and keeping in touch, but we still talk even though we aren't an item.  

As of now, I'm pretty skeptical of the women I meet.  Being 26 and turning 27 in 4 months, means people my age have already started to pair off and have kids and build lives.  I still feel I don't even know what I want to do, let alone who I want to be with, so I'm guessing I can hold off for now.  And I know that my choices aren't forever.  The things I realize now, being older and little smarter are that if I meet a girl through online dating; there has to be something wrong with them.  I know this because they wouldn't be using online dating in the first place.  I don't really have the kind of friends that set people up with their friends.  Maybe I do, but maybe I'm not the type of person that they would set a person up with.  I think about all these things and try to figure out ways to improve myself.  

I've had a lot of stress into figuring out what is wrong with me, but either I can't get answers from someone or I am just seeing things in a different way.  I know something is wrong with me, but I'm guessing I just need to see someone before I can figure out being in a relationship.  But I need to do this BEFORE I get into a relationship.  

So that concludes day 1.  Pretty rough writing all of that.  But that's what it takes.