30 day challenge - Day 1: Relationship status

This is the first day of one of the new 30 day challenges.  I'll exercise my crunches and jumping jacks after this.  The day 1 exercise is to blog about my relationship status, which is single.  Being single has almost become a solidified way of life for me.  I haven't really had an everyday girlfriend.  I've had dates.  I've been involved with girls for more than one weekend.  But I don't think I've been able to put the tag "girlfriend" on a relationship of mine.  It sounds depressing when you think about it.

In high school, I didn't have a girlfriend of any kind.  I took a really sweet girl to Prom, but we didn't really stay together afterwards.  We had some real fun together, but we just didn't click and stay together.  

In college, there were some casual hookups, but same thing.  No one really connected with me.  I don't know if it was the persona that I gave off or what.  I did make a lot of great friends.  And many of them were girls.  Just not a girlfriend.  

Post college pretty much turned into a lonely-fest.  Not seeing the same people you saw every day for 4 years is a real struggle.  I managed to go 4 years in college without really making a single friend that I could get either extra "friendly", romantic or emotional with (however you want to characterize it).  I forget how long ago, but I got a subscription to a dating website, and it initially didn't pan out so well.  I felt more alone.  I put myself out there and I kept getting responses from people I didn't think I wanted to meet.  

Further along the online dating life, I got on a couple of dates, mostly just meals and whatnot.  I go out on one date with this really sweet girl who went to school down south.  We went out on a couple more and I think we connected pretty well.  I think I dropped the ball on staying connected and keeping in touch, but we still talk even though we aren't an item.  

As of now, I'm pretty skeptical of the women I meet.  Being 26 and turning 27 in 4 months, means people my age have already started to pair off and have kids and build lives.  I still feel I don't even know what I want to do, let alone who I want to be with, so I'm guessing I can hold off for now.  And I know that my choices aren't forever.  The things I realize now, being older and little smarter are that if I meet a girl through online dating; there has to be something wrong with them.  I know this because they wouldn't be using online dating in the first place.  I don't really have the kind of friends that set people up with their friends.  Maybe I do, but maybe I'm not the type of person that they would set a person up with.  I think about all these things and try to figure out ways to improve myself.  

I've had a lot of stress into figuring out what is wrong with me, but either I can't get answers from someone or I am just seeing things in a different way.  I know something is wrong with me, but I'm guessing I just need to see someone before I can figure out being in a relationship.  But I need to do this BEFORE I get into a relationship.  

So that concludes day 1.  Pretty rough writing all of that.  But that's what it takes.