Fat ballplayers

"I'm not an athlete, lady, I'm a baseball player." - John Kruk

Those are the fine words of John Kruk, former Philadelphia Phillies first-baseman and now a Baseball Tonight analyst for ESPN.  I'm guessing he was being asked on why he isn't in better shape by a female reporter.  Serves her right for not remembering that the best baseball player of all time wasn't svelt or in shape.  He was huge.

There is something about baseball and fat guys.  It's almost as if players that are heavier are more apt to do well in the league.  Babe Ruth isn't by any means an athlete.  He's a fat man who could swing a huge bat and crush the ball into next week.  When you think about baseball players who are being developed now, they look thin.  And when you think about things that baseball players do: running, stealing, throwing, jumping, hustling - they don't really seem like things that fat guys should be, or would be doing better than other people.  But for some reason, the baseball Gods have allowed for overtly fat men to do well in this sport.

No other sport seems to allow for such a thing.  Basketball players need to constantly run.  The last good fat player was either Shaq or Charles Barkley, but they have been out of the league and they were great for throwing their weight around, which seems to no longer be effective in the NBA.  Hockey players that weigh more than 230 pounds are considered huge, and I've never been able to tell who has a gut in that league.  Football allows for fat men, but they have to be fast fat men, which is an anomaly.

Just look at the baseball players that were fat that have done well:

Cabrera and Fielder are both fat guys who have done wonders since landing in Detroit.

Probably the best big game pitcher for the Red Sox ever.

David Wells was known for warming up with a 12 pack of Diet Coke and then throwing perfect games.

Sabathia, who has lost weight since because he stopped eating boxes of cereal for breakfast, has dominated most of this career in the big leagues.

Bartolo Colon, who easily outweighs everyone in baseball, but still throws heat at his age.  

I think we need a more flattering picture of Bartolo.  Let me look.

Much better.  You can really count the chins he has gained since joining the league.

And of course, everybody's favorite big man around Boston, David Ortiz.  

After posting all of this, I'd love to see a mashup of Ortiz saying "This is our fuckin' city", but then dubbing over it saying "This is our fuckin' chili".  Make it happen Internet!

Anyways, thanks for reading.  Hope you enjoyed.