Why Online Dating isn't the way to go

Have an OKCupid account?  How about a PlentyOFish account?  Zoosk?  Match.com?  Eharmony? Tagged?  Or some random other online dating website or app devoted to getting you matched up with someone that's perfect for you?  Good.  Now disable it.  I've been through the online dating realm for a little over 2 years.  Maybe longer.  I've gone on multiple dates with many different girls.  Most of them, have ended the same way:  The guy starts the messaging, the girl maybe writes back, you plan a date, you meet both meet up, you probably make out (or hug meaning you're never going to see her again), and then you maybe go on another date.

The trouble in online dating usually starts with making out a profile page that you think will attract someone to your liking.  In your own head, you're thinking "should I include a ton of interests?, Should I say I'm 'down to earth' like everyone else?, Do I include a bathroom selfie?, which picture makes me look thinner than I am now?, How old of a woman do I think I can handle?" and so on.  Most of the questions you ask in your head end up being hilarious tweets when you think about it.  So you spend all this time trying to sculpt this profile, and then when you look at everyone else's they all say the same thing.  Every girl is down to earth, joining online dating because their friends had "success", tired of the bar scene, wants a guy that can make them laugh, enjoys a glass of wine on their couch and watching a movie on Friday nights, and they all hate guys that take selfies with their shirt off (selfies are pictures you take in the bathroom in case you didn't know).

Then when you finally find someone you think can tolerate your face for an hour or two, you try to write a message to them.  Now, there's a good chance that no matter how sincere or nice or cool you sound in your message, that girl will not respond to you.  I don't exactly know the ins and outs of crafting the perfect message, but it seems that the normal sounding girls are the ones who do not respond (sorry if any of my previous dates are upset over this).  And even when you plan to meetup at a bar (make sure the first date is not dinner) there is still the possibility the girl will get cold feet and make an excuse that she has to work late on a Saturday night and not as a bartender.

The reason I mentioned that the first date should not be dinner is because dinner is the worst place to meet someone for.  For one, every girl hates eating in front a man.  Now I have no problems eating in front a woman.  I will eat until I'm full.  Most girls will order as many drinks as you, but as soon as that shared pizza comes out, they will pick take 3 bites and then pick at the crust.  Also splitting a bill at the end just makes things weird because if the girl wants to go dutch on it, she doesn't want to have to owe you, meaning sex or any making out is probably out the door.  The worst is having to deal with a waitress who can figure out you're on a first date and gets really into it and making comments.  I use waitress and not waiter because any dude knows better than to show any emotion toward awkward situations such as first dates.

At some point in the date, you've realized that you have nothing to talk about.  You like sports, she could care less.  She likes HBO's Girls, and you hate Lena Dunham with her naked tattooed body.  If you were smart and went to a bar (where drinks will go down fast and conversations will get interesting), you can get drunk alone, get drunk together, or both get drunk and laid if you're lucky by the end of the night.

The problems with online dating, is that after the first or next few dates.  You wonder about the next steps in dating: introduction to friends and family.  Do you want to say that you met someone online based on algorithms and profile likenesses?  How do people react when they hear that?  What if she doesn't like any of my friend's?  What I don't like her friends?  Why do we always meet when we're not sober?  Is this girl interesting when she's not sober?  How would my parents feel about this?  Has anything she's said send red flags?  Can I make up a lie as to how we met so it doesn't sound like we're both losers?

It's that last question that really hinders in your mind.  Your friends ask "hey are we going to meet this girl you've been dating?"  And you think "I don't know, maybe," when in your head you think about how other people have perceived you from pretty much just looking to the internet for something that you cannot do in person, face to face.

Online dating has no real future.  It'll be a fad while desperate singles will jump to dating sites after one gets tiring.  Finding a good relationship will not come in the form of slimming profile pictures, shared interests, and what you spend your Friday nights doing.  It comes from going different places, running into old friends, and meeting new ones.  So, lose the online persona, put on a decent shirt, and go out there and meet someone.

Learning not to eat your feelings

One of the top reasons why obesity is on the rise and mental health issues are becoming more and more mainstream is because we, as people, are losing control.  We also have picked up bad habits with regards to eating.  I'm talking of course, about binge eating.  Whether it's eating chips-ahoy by the sleeve, or wheat things by the box, or peanut butter by the spoonful (which all sounds delicious), there is a certain mindset that a fat person will have while consuming said food.  It's not a good one.  It could involve guilt, a feeling of not being loved or wanted, restlessness, or depression (usually the case).

One of the best things I did when I was on my first weight loss goal, was to eliminate all junk food snacks, which is harder than it seems when you live next to a 7-11.  I would instead snack with Almonds, celery sticks, baby carrots, raisins, sunflower kernels, and maybe sometimes a cup of tea just to calm my nerves.  One of the things I caught myself doing recently was going out of the way to eat fast food because my brain kept saying over and over "Feed Me Fast Food!!!!".  So, I did.  I succumbed to my brain telling me what to do.  But what I also am doing to curb my fast food/bad habits is keeping track of how many times I've done certain things.

I use a basic counter app and just press the + button whenever I've had fast food, drank a beer, ate pizza, ate at a restaurant, drank a soda, or eaten Chinese food.  It's helped immensely in controlling my urges and also given me a clearer point of view on how many times I've done something compared to something else.  You can do this for anything because the app lets you create a label and you just have to remember to press the + button before you go and do something.

Now if you get the app, there is the clear understanding that there is a plus and a minus sign.  You might be thinking, "I can get this app, and just lie a couple of times about eating Chinese food, drinking beers and sodas for a couple weeks, it's no big deal." WRONG.  I don't use this app to show off to people.  There is no sharing button; you can't brag about your lack of drinking Cokes to Facebook or Twitter.  This is for me.  The biggest difference in my healthy quest was that I had to be honest with myself the whole way through.  Otherwise, I'm just wasting my own time for the benefit of no one.  If I ate fast food late at night, I was honest with myself the next day and went to the gym and sweated until the back of my shirt was soaked.  I'd turn away friends' offers who wanted to go out for a couple beers to watch a game or do trivia, just because I wanted to get a little healthier.

So go ahead and moderately snack on something NOT from 7-11.  Just be honest with yourself about what you want to accomplish.

A Fist Full of Almonds

Almonds.  They are delicious.  They are small.  And they are probably one of the best things you can include in your diet that will help out in the healthy department.  After a workout, I usually make a cup of tea and grab a fist full of almonds, which is surprisingly the amount in a regular serving size (about 26-28 almonds).  They taste great.  In butter form is probably the best form ever.  Almond butter is healthy as hell, full of fiber, low in sugars and has plenty of those little nutrients we all forget about (Monounsaturated Fat and Polyunsaturated Fats).  I buy them in bulk, which saves about 90 cents.  I don't think I'll go back to eating peanut butter, mainly because almond butter is becoming more and more popular and is just better for you.  Peanut butter is high in sugar, bad fat content, and cholesterol.  Almond butter is pretty much the opposite, and when you read the ingredients in almond butter, there's only one.  Almonds.